'True Blood' Recap: Violent Vamps and Jesus Camps (Page 3/4)
'True Blood' Recap: Violent Vamps and Jesus Camps (Page 3/4)
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
In Tara-Dise, she has a nice chat with Eggs, who is busy working in the backyard without his shirt on.  Jason might have a six-pack, but I'm pretty sure Eggs has a 12-pack.  His entire long, lean torso is made up of abdominal muscles.  He tells Tara about how he doesn't have a job and how he was in prison for drugs and armed robbery.  Tara's brain works overtime to rationalize how she can still hook up with this major league hottie despite him being so wrong for her. 

Later in the day Maryann accompanies Tara to Merlotte's, where new waitress Daphne is doing a terrible job.  Maryann plays some more mind games with Sam.  She sticks around for lunch and orders about half the menu, which she proceeds to eats.  So now we know Maryann gets blurry during sex and she can eat about 30 pounds of meat in a single sitting.  She's either some type of weird new monster or Rosie O'Donnell.

Sookie visits Merlotte's on her day off to ask Tara to move in with her.  On her way out she bumps into Maryann and Sookie overhears the woman's thoughts, which are some creepy Latin chant.

Once the nighttime crowd arrives, Maryann starts using her witchy woman magic by seductively dancing around, getting everyone else in the mood.  Before you know it, the whole bar is dancing, grinding, humping on the tables, and essentially having a huge clothed orgy.  Sam pulls her aside to tell her to leave his people alone, but she does her blurry shaking move and turns Sam into a dog.

Thank God that didn't happen when she was having sex with 17-year-old Sam in the flashbacks from last week, or it would've been the first ever televised scene of bestiality.  She promises to do that in front of all his friends if he messes with her fun again.


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