Tonight's attempt at answering what happened 16 years ago in the fire is as lackluster as the season premiere of Two and a Half Men
. But we get to see magic and pretty people so all is well until next week on The Secret Circle
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This episode, the show remembered that the adults were once featured all together. Charles, Dawn and Ethan decide to be all grownups who have made it thus far because they are shady, backstabbing individuals.
First up, Dawn, the chess master, has decidedly taken to pit the boys against one another after a bad fake relationship talk with Charles. It's the classic couple argument: 'You're mother doesn't like me,' with a fun retaliation of, 'You literally tried to kill my mother!' Luckily, these two are a fake couple so the fighting is more of a power play than an attempt at functioning matrimony.
With things tense with Charles, Dawn takes upon herself to play up victim and enlist Adam's dad Ethan, who hasn't had much to do other than be drunk and yell at Diana. Also, the irony that Adam's dad and Diana's dad never got along when their kids dated is funny. Dawn convinces Ethan through stupid drunk logic that Charles is evil.
Ethan, being the father of loser nobleman Adam, takes it upon himself to confront Charles. Naturally, Charles assumes Ethan is drunk to which Ethan replies, "I'm sober as a church mouse, Charles." What? Ethan, stay drunk. But then, Ethan gains the upper hand by gaining the crystal, allowing Ethan to drown Charles in a cruel, careless way familiar to the other grownups. Speaking of, why did Ethan lie about being at the Fire years ago?
Dawn's plan is backfiring when Ethan decides to keep the crystal for himself. Take that, Dawn! The uncomfortable look on Dawn's face as Ethan confidently said the crystal was safe was priceless. Notice how all the adults on this show are pretty corrupt and the opposite of innocent? It's the theme that shouldn't keep on giving to the high schoolers who watch this show: all adults are in fact evil.
Fire & Blackwell
Jake returns. Luckily, this isn't dragged out or not explained from the cliffhangers, just kind of accepted. Jake just shows up and says he was there when half of their parents died 16 years ago. "At the fire?" Cassie asks, blonde and innocent (and not making me regret going brunette this winter). No, at the other place that killed half their parents. Cassie is so thick sometimes. This episode doesn't help with that.
The Circle, being idiots, decide to let Cassie access Jake's memory all Kyle XY style, which Adam protests to Jake, the "pet psychopath." Aww. Adam's got a pet name for Jake. Shippers: consider Adam and Jake with their back and forth sparring. It's one of the few times Adam is interesting (other than with my girl Di, of course).
So the two mind travel into Jake's locked memory, which causes pain to Jake because the writers need a reason for Cassie to be alone. Seriously, I have no other explanation for it; magic isn't based on faith in this show, just suspended belief.
Someone in the dream recognizes that Cassie shouldn't be there. Her name is Lucy, and we never see her again. I'm as confused as Cassie is trusting. Ugh. Well, it starts smoking up and Cassie starts suffocating, or her mind believes she is. Luckily, the group performs magic CPR and she can breathe again. Thank goodness, I was worried that the show would kill off its lead character for a minute!
Now that she's breathing, Cassie gets to see what happened. The witch hunters have slaughtered most of the previous Circle at the trial and burning of John Blackwell and are now prepared for a torching. But John Blackwell is a boss. His amulet produced real power, enough to burn the witch hunters and trap the rest of the Circle in the ship and let him escape. (So John Blackwell inadvertently killed Jake's mother. Wonder how's that gonna sit).
After Cassie breaks through to the other side, she needs proof of his death. How does one do this exactly? Well, in film and TV you just dig up the grave and check for the skeleton. Because digging isn't illegal, immoral or difficult work but happens in the next cut of the scene (but seriously, why not use magic here, guys?). Cassie needs further proof so she reaches down and touches his name, just in case they dug up the wrong grave. Phew, right one. There's a skeleton in it, but probs not his.
Drugs, Sexiness, and Magic Whole-in-the-Walls
This whole bound circle thing is such a drag; it needs to break up. Cue Lee and Faye, over at a magic whole in the wall. See, in addition to being creepy and sexy, Lee is a drug dealer (or a former one). I know this is a CW show so this guy is just EVIL.
But Lee cares for Faye, enough to make sure she doesn't get hooked on his ex-girlfriend's drug of choice, even when Lee's frenemy bates her. The dude's sort of Lee's buzzkill, but he emphasizes that somewhere in that creepy twentysomething he likes Faye. The drug has death in the title of it. The night ends with some Faye-Lee bonding time and Faye still be entranced by the wild side and magic drug culture.
Emily E. Steck
(Image courtesy of The CW)