'The Secret Circle' Recap: Comatose Crazy
'The Secret Circle' Recap: Comatose Crazy
Blackwell discourages Cassie from dark magic; Cassie and Adam are in a relationship (unconfirmed whether it's Facebook official). Meanwhile, Lee's comatose girlfriend awakens with jealousy against Faye.

Father-Daughter Resemblance

John Blackwell, for all his hype, is kind of boring in that the impression we've had of him all season is completely wrong. He's not awesome: he's all guilt-ridden and concerned about Cassie's protection. A Blackwell family trait, it seems. Never fear! If the writers could fix Cassie (and make her...better) then I am sure Blackwell will get better. Also, they both dipped into the dark arts. Another family trait apparently!

Anyway, the core of this episode focuses on Cassie's arrogance in dealing with dark magic and her daddy saying no to the destruction and evil. This metaphor must oddly enough ring true for some kids. But this show can have Cassie doing crazy crap: like melt her perfectly good coffee cup to show her power and control.

Cassie and Adam finds a "sway," which allegedly takes a witch's power. According to Blackwell, it really transfers it to mortals temporarily, which is why our Big Bad (Evan--the witch hunter) is so powerful. Of course, the only reason he became that way is because someone betrayed the old Circle.

All signs point to Ethan because Dawn is too awesome (See: the grownup sexual tension between her and Blackwell? That's Faye in like twenty years, though I'd laugh so hard if she also became a high school principal). Charles is too dumb, we haven't met Melissa's parents/parent, and Cassie's mom Amelia is a saint or something.

When Cassie sees Blackwell get stabbed, it triggers Evil Cassie! Instead of helping her dad, she uses black magic to nearly bash Ethan's brains in. This is her boyfriend's dad! I hope that the end of this season is just Evil Cassie(!) wreaking havoc. Hell hath no fury like a tiny blonde. Luckily (or unluckily for this reviewer), she scares herself into quitting dark magic.

Later, we learn Ethan wasn't the traitor, just a petty tool who wanted to kill Blackwell because he couldn't have a Blake woman. Then we unlearn that (a recurring bit on this show) Ethan wasn't the traitor because he was the traitor. Phew. Ethan is crazy talking about 'written in the stars' for Blake women and Conant men (or the other way around, I guess). Apparently it is destiny--and a curse, according to Blackwell. I could have told Ethan that, why else couldn't these two lines procreate already? But it clears up some of my questions over this stupid issue and segues into next week's promos about the CURSE.

Coma Girlfriend Wakes Up

Remember how Cassie has that convenient coffee job? It's actually a cover so that this "Secret Circle" can have hangouts at a coffee shop in broad daylight. Despite the writers' blatantly dismissing the 'secret' aspect of this show, props for them trying to make this the witches version of Friends, except none of the characters really like each other here.

"Imagine another Cassie running around. Then you can each have one." Faye, I've missed you. Speaking of Faye, let's talk about her weird storyline with Lee and coma-girlfriend...Eva? Yeah, Eva. This girl comes of as crazy-obsessive; like she would follow him into a public restroom and watch kind of crazy. These kind of women do not fare well with CW men. Nanny Carrie, anyone?

Faye is seducing Lee, but she sees Eva there and finally gets it and leaves. Lee is with Eva, but then he is with Faye. The only problem with this love triangle is that we don't know what Lee is feeling since we only know him as the Love Interest. Not much of a character other than. But Lee comes to whatever sense he has and chooses Faye (though he spent forever trying to bring Eva back from the dead. Weird.).

Logistics aside: how cute are they later? More importantly, how cute is Faye being happy? Crazy Eva has undisclosed power, enough to turn Lee to stone I think. No! Why does Grey Damon always die in things?

Characters I Love That the Show Doesn't

Melissa -- oh, lord -- doesn't do anything anymore except expel advice to everyone (even when they don't talk much). "Wasn't it just last week we saved her from a voodoo drug thing," says Faye. "We didn't save her. She saved herself." BAM. This show does have a sense of humor! And there ends Melissa's usefulness. Oh, anyone catch the Nick shout-out? He existed, apparently. Who knew?

Diana gets a cool Australian love interest named Grant ... who looks a little like her boyfriend's dad. Is it just me? Or maybe all attractive people have some resemblance. Grant wins a stuffed monkey for Diana. Grant is sailing the world apparently, because he is a hopeless romantic like that. Yawn. Diana needs better storylines.

Star-Crossed Losers

Cassie's really into Adam this week. All the qualms about their pseudo-relationship are gone now that they have an actual relationship that's lasted a whole week. But now for their first fight! Cassie basically accuses Adam's dad of badness (turns out to be accurate-ish) because her father said so. Adam is deeply offended and self-righteous (because that's what Adam is most of the time), but he does stand up to Cassie's naïve notions that her father is right and not evil.

Since Blackwell feeds Cassie a lie about Ethan being a traitor, these two crazy kids reconcile. Then Cassie and Adam have a Twilight moment. "I don't want to hurt you," Cassie spurts. "I'm not afraid of you," Adam says back. And role reversal. But unlike Twilight, the two get to the sexing. And then we watch some shots of birds flying above the house. This show...

Emily Steck
Contributing Writer

(Image courtesy of CW)