Down Under on The Real World, Trisha is on the phone with her boyfriend Jarod, having a variation on the classic Real World game of: "how can I keep my boyfriend back home, but get his permission to have wild sex with everyone I can while I enjoy my 15 minutes of fame on a well past its prime MTV reality show."

Her answer comes in the form of the fact that he isn't e-mailing her every day, so she lays this gem on him: "I think we should take a break until you can be yourself and actually call me."  Weak, but effective as a requirement for all at-home boyfriends on this show is a willingness to be cuckolded.  She's all sad and conflicted, but since this is the 19th season, we've all seen this exact scenario about a hundred times, and it loses its punch after a while.

On a walk, Kelly Anne plays Skipper to Trisha's Barbie as the blonde one rationalizes the temporary breakup.  It takes her all of two seconds, then she's off to have fun, thankful that her boyfriend is safe back home, ready to take her back the moment the cameras stop rolling.  Trisha calls up Aussie Alex who she met two days prior, and asks him to stop by for a drink and a hug.  When Alex comes over (to the editors' credit, they don't put the word "friend" in ironic quotation marks), Trisha makes sure to mention that she's single about 20 times in the first minute.  Downstairs, Isaac and Cohutta totally rag on her, calling her out for exactly what she's doing - jerking Jarod around.

Shauvon is talking to Parisa (seriously, where can I get whatever it is all these kids' parents were smoking when they came up with these names?) about how she wants an Aussie man, and definitely does not want Isaac.  It's so junior high, even for this show.  I notice the editors are putting up captions of everyone's name every time they enter a new scene.  Even the producers of this show know it's now impossible to distinguish one Real Worlder from another.  Parisa is playing the role of the sassy friend who totally tries to force Shauvon and Isaac together.

Trisha offers herself up as dating doctor to Shauvon, who's eager to call her own Aussie boy toy, Ky.  Parisa is invited out with Shauvon, Trisha and their Aussies, but Parisa is smart enough to realize she'd just be a fifth wheel, and wants no part in that.  Parisa then gets drunk (I'm loving her), and Trisha gets all upset over some perceived slight and goes to talk all kinds of trash behind Parisa's back like "she doesn't know me, she can't judge me."  Then she says the only one who can judge her is God Himself.

On Aussie Boy Toy Date Night, the whole gang goes out and gets drunk.  Parisa is either passed out or sleeping, and so muscle man Isaac carries her.  "Please don't yack down my crack," he charmingly asks.  Somehow Dunbar winds up giving her the old fireman's carry home, while Kelly Anne patiently walks along side with her purse.  Kelly Anne is the very definition of "always a bridesmaid."

Shauvon and Ky retire to the bedroom, and outside Trisha asks Alex, "Is you friend boning my friend?"   Isaac regrets hooking up with Shauvon because now he's lumped in the same category as Ky, or the "d-bag" as Isaac affectionately calls him.  Cohutta chimes in for Ky to "give her the thunder from Down Under."  Against all odds, I'm actually being charmed by almost all the houseguests.  We're treated to some under-the-covers giggling, and we all know what that's code for.

Afterwards, Shauvon gets the classic post-macking regret.  She laments the fact that she's incapable of being dependent, always needing a man in her bed.  Trisha is also upset about her whole deal with Alex and Jarod, and Cohutta calls her out about how "being on a break" is just her safety net to get away with whatever she wants to do with a clean conscience, which has the gall to deny.  His absurdly thick southern drawl is hiding a much wiser man beneath.

Trisha and Parisa fight over using the computer.  Parisa just wants to get a friend's phone number, but Trisha is just sitting there waiting for Jarod to reply to an e-mail she wrote telling him all about Alex.  Trisha invokes God again, and Kelly Anne lets out a hilariously earnest plea for them to stop arguing.  Parisa and Shauvon discuss the drama over cigarettes and a game of Connect Four.  The guys are unfortunate enough to listen to Trisha's lame excuses, unable to talk sense into the crazy broad. 


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of MTV)