Drama is the New Black on 'Real Housewives of Orange County'
Drama is the New Black on 'Real Housewives of Orange County'
Donn and Vicki still aren't getting along. They rarely see each other, and Vicki feels sad. Gretchen is sad because Slade doesn't have any money. Also, he is not in shape. Gretchen is really determined to prove she is not a golddigger, but the time has come to decide if she can deal with her man not making any money at all. The child support thing is an issue.

Peggy is throwing a Vegas weekend for Micah's birthday. She invited Tamra and Eddie, but not Jim and Alexis. Peggy and Alexis almost officially don't get along now. Peggy's friends Brady and Kirsten are also along for the trip. All the women are blonde, so Micah makes a tasteful joke about grabbing the wrong ass. Hey, what happens in Vegas and so forth! Micah is feeling like the birthday king, so he takes the opportunity to share some of his life philosophies.

Gretchen is finally ready to confront Slade about the money/child support problems (on camera). She has come to a "sh*t or get off the pot" phase. Gretchen loves Slade, but love isn't always enough, especially when there's debt involved. It might be time to get practical.

Ahhh yes, Peggy made a book out of those boudoir photos for Micah. They both get very turned on by the pictures. More cleavage, more power!

As Vicki flips through her prayer book, she (the show) reflects back on her worst times with Donn. There was one good time, but it was mostly all the unkind things he has said to her on the show.

Alexis is putting together a preview of the long-awaited Alexis Couture collection. She wants to share her "great taste" with the world. The theme is "fabulous." Good theme! Alexis's French chef, at the French restuarant where the preview is being held, wants to serve delicious French food but Alexis says no to fois gras and yes to "croissant sandwich."

Vicki and Tamra do not approve of Dylan, Alexis's assistant/"pocket gay." The conversation turns to Donn and how poorly the relationship is going. Vicki confesses that they're having issues. Vicki keeps saying, "I believe in marriage," and discusses how desperately she wants to be touched. Buzzed and teary eyed, Tamra and Vicki get real. The marriage is dead, according to Vicki. She wants a divorce.

Alexis Couture is finally here. Alexis can't wait to hear what everyone has to say about it! Since she is the resident expert, Alexis shows her models how to do their job. Maybe they aren't real models though? I don't know.

The Housewives (past and present) arrive and Tamra echoes my sentiments about the event: "This should be really interesting." Vicki does not show. It turns out Vicki is in the hospital. At least Dylan is wearing a Bolo Bow Tie.

RHOCbolobowtie.jpgAlexis included comment cards for the preview! Interesting choice. "THE PENS AREN'T WORKING BECAUSE THE PAPER IS THE SHINY KIND!" Peggy complains. Not to be a bitch or anything! She just wanted to write mean things about all the dresses.

Gretchen takes Vicki's trip to the hospital as an opportunity to doubt and criticize her. It was all a ploy to ruin Alexis's fashion show! Come on, Gretchen. The woman is bleeding out the ass! Alexis also thinks Tamra is being disrespectful. How dare Vicki have internal bleeding on the special day belonging to Alexis Couture!

Next week, on the season finale, Tamra will shove Jeana Keough at a party!

(Images courtesy of Bravo)