Ewww Cindy Barshop's teeth are falling out. It's like a bad dream (literally. Have you had those dreams where your teeth fall out?). Cindy and Sonja meet designer Vivienne Tam and try on some dresses. Housewives doing what Housewives do best. But we're all just waiting for Sonja Morgan to fall off that horse.
Sonja is having a party, so the guest list is in question as usual. Should she or should she not invite Ramona? Cindy is having a horse party thing in the Hamptons. It's too far away from Sonja's whatever in the Hamptons and ugh, can they just all fall off a horse?
At LuAnn's house in the Hamptons, it "really feels like our
Hamptons again." LuAnn's daughter doesn't want to go to school in the city, where LuAnn shops, works on her music and dates Jacques.
Kelly and Sonja are finally going riding. Kelly is not impressed with Sonja, who is being "really cavalier about it." But BOOM, Kelly Bensimon is totally right to worry because Sonja's horse starts to canter and she eats it. You know, I don't think Kelly felt so bad about it. Sonja was like, "Ahhhh I'm fine!" Then they sit down and talk about cocktails and LuAnn and Ramona. Sonja is concocting a plan to make Kelly and Ramona hang out and there's no way it will go well. Is this what people do in New York? Trick people into spending time with people they don't like?
The ladies are meeting at LuAnn's house for Columbus Day Weekend. Jill is still in Australia. This whole "Quogue" issue comes up AGAIN, and man, people really do not like this Quogue part of the Hamptons. I'm gathering that Sonja and Cindy aren't getting along. I used to like Sonja, but now I think I'm Team Cindy. By the way, Kelly, it's definitely not okay to do that "Indian" whooping thing anymore.
Enter Ramona to out-rude Sonja. She comes in just yelling about Pinot Grigio, and Quogue, and then she calls LuAnn "a weekend mom." Ohhhh noooooo. I heard that this season was becoming a "brunettes vs blondes" thing, and I think we're starting to see how this will shape up. Cindy pulls Kelly aside and warns her not to bring her kids to Sonja's thing (the setup). Because Kelly is freaking out, Cindy tells Kelly about the sting. I can see why everyone likes the Hamptons so much (no I can't).
LuAnn has invited the women and their dogs to go on the ARF Walk. These are not dogs who are used to being walked. Ramona's dog is pulling her all over the place, and Sonja just starts carrying hers and telling the other women how to walk their dogs. Ramona talks to LuAnn about how hurt she was about something Cindy's brother's did. Jeff's-Cigar-gate.
Of course, Kelly told Sonja that Cindy spilled the beans about Sonja's setup. Sonja was pissed about it, and Kelly backed out. To get out of the conversation, Kelly started making sand angels.
Finally they're at Quogue, which was a big effing deal for everyone. Ramona arrives and makes a big deal about not having a glass of pinot grigio in her hand that second. Sonja, of course, is not there, because she doesn't DO Quogue! Ramona, still pinot grigio-less, complains about everything--the horse ride, the food, everything. Ramona engages Kelly in conversation and Kelly is like "I really don't want to, I really don't--bye!" I think now I get why people don't like Quogue (no I don't).
Ramona makes a weird, big deal about inviting Kelly to every single thing because Kelly and Cindy mentioned some brunch that, gasp, Ramona was not invited to. But she's such a good time! She's so gracious!
Ramona approaches Cindy's brother, "I NEED to have a conversation with you. I NEED to have a conversation with you." She can't save it for later, and she needs to approach him in front of his parents. Cindy tells Ramona to cut it out, and Ramona breaks down, because she just CAN'T let it go. Cindy has Ramona sit down and Ramona is like, "I am shaking, that is how upset I am!" and Cindy could not care less.
Next week, Jill Zarin is back, Ramona confronts Cindy in a more appropriate setting, and Sonja puts Cindy in her place. Ahhhh it looks amazing. (Image courtesy of Bravo)