One clump of weave and "like, eight" police cars later, The New Jersey Housewives prepare for the inevitable aftershock of a Teresa-Danielle girl fight. Teresa sends her daughters to karate class, in hopes of strengthening the Giudice Army. Meanwhile, Danielle takes her
daughters to a self-defense class (but it's really for her, because why else would Danny be there creepily watching, looking like a war-torn extra in the movie Footloose
As part of her petition to become the new Housewife, Kim G. visits Jacqueline. One of my burning questions was answered, Danielle got the remnants of her weave from Kim G., who will do anything to fuel the flame. There were also some very slow developments with the Albie story line but I just don't even want to talk about it until someone throws a table.
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Teresa visits Kim D. at Posche, and Kim D. is somehow not completely pissed that Teresa and Danielle ruined her whole fashion show and evening. Then Kim G. came in because she heard the camera crew was there. Teresa says, "the only thing I regret that night is pushing Kim G., because she is an older woman and I do respect the elderly." Respect is an interesting word to use, Teresa.
Ashley has chosen to play the "Danielle is obsessed with me" card. Remember when Regina said that in Mean Girls? Ashley will continue to defend all her words and actions, just like Teresa will continue to deny that her house is in foreclosure. And just like Danielle will continue to believe in karma when it's convenient for her.
So, Danielle finally has grounds (and strands) to file a complaint against Ashley. My favorite moment from this whole episode was the three haggard looking women (one of them being Kim G.) who were serving as witnesses for Danielle. Why can't they have their own show?! The Crappy Witnesses of New Jersey. Amazing! Jacqueline calls them "a busted up Sex and the City" when she showed up with a stack of newspapers. Someone's playing both sides, and her name rhymes with Kim D.
Next week, Ashley goes to court (will it all happen in time for Albie to represent her as her lawyer? No.) and Kim G. will continue to jog around New Jersey looking for cameras.
So I pose these questions to you: Who is the most ridiculous, Danielle, Teresa, or Ashley? Also, do you think Kim G. should take Dina's spot on The Real Housewives of New Jersey?
Since this episode was sort of sporty, and very defensive (self- and otherwise), I'll take the opportunity to hold an online Little League banquet for the New Jersey Housewives tomorrow. Check back to see who wins what award!
(image courtesy of Bravo)