'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Kim, You in Danger, Girl
'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Kim, You in Danger, Girl
Paul is having a night of beauty for the ladies! Paul's Night of Beauty sounds likes the most delightful, preposterous thing/"party" yet. Kyle wants to get her "love handles" taken care of with one of those laser things Kim was using on Real Housewives of Atlanta while eating pizza.

Taylor is getting a bunch of filler done, but not filling herself out with food. Taylor can't help that her face is "genetically thin." Lisa is just a spectator for Paul's Night of Beauty. And Kim is late as usual. We finally get to see Kim on the live action end of her strange, disjointed phone calls. Kim decides she wants to blow up her lips some more ... a little.

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Camille could not attend because she hard a hard time with her divorce attorney. Remember when we hated Camille and then all of a sudden we felt bad for her and now we don't hate her at all? Now I kind of don't like Taylor. Russell sent Lisa an email with a story in which they defend themselves, their marriage, and their business. Do you think Lisa leaked information to the press? I don't want to think so.

Didn't Kim just move? Anyway, Kyle is having some sort of psychic seance at her party and Kim is the only one who hasn't RSVP'd because she's afraid something will move inside her? She feels too many things from beyond, apparently. Like anyone expects her to go to anything anymore. THEN Kim says, "it's against my religion." What?! That's the excuse that keeps on excusing.

Even Russell is stopping by the seance, and maybe he can explain why he sent that email to Lisa and Lisa only. Ms Vanderpump left after their discussion of Taylor was not to her satisfaction.

Hey, this is important stuff, we're finally finding out what meds Kim is on. She is on three medications that sounds like Trazodome, Topamax, and Lexipro. After a brief Google search, we discover Trazodome is a sleeping pill, Topamax is an anti-seizure medication (wtf?) also used for bi-polar disorders, eating disorders, and alcoholism. And Lexipro is used to treat depression and anxiety. One more drug in the mix and she's got the full Paula Abdul.

Paul tells her that this combination explains a lot, especially when they mix. This is why she slurs her words, is out of it, and seems drunk all the time. Kim, slurring even more, tells Paul that no, she is absolutely not drinking any alcohol. Paul suggests it might be good to sit down with a psychiatrist and review these meds.

Kim is talking to Adrienne as Paul applies a cream around her face. Kyle suggests Kim not talk so much as Paul works on her, and Kim says she's a big girl and can make her own decisions. So she will talk all she wants thank you very much, as Paul gets some cream on her lips. We see the needles go in up close, as Kim makes noises like an angry cat.

Kyle even invites Brandi to the seance, because we all know how well parties go when they involve enemies and psychics! Brandi's coming, in hopes of starting over with Kyle. Then Taylor comes over to whine about how Lisa is going around town saying she doesn't have friends. She won't if she keeps whining all the time.

Rebecca, the stunningly accurate, magnet-using psychic is in da house. So is Bernie, and he can't stand Lisa, as usual. Lisa arrives and greets the Morally Corrupt Faye Resnick. Taylor, Brandi, Brandi's Crutches, and Adrienne all arrive soon after. Adrienne is a little nervous, but not so nervous that she won't go for fear of things passing through her or inhabiting her body like Oda Mae Brown in the movie Ghost.

Camille arrives with a friend, but the friend is not, sadly, Alison DuBois. Well, this will go better because Kyle's psychic is on the clock. Also, Adrienne is there. She promises them it's not scary, then tells them that "George is very adamant that I talk to his daughter," meaning Adrienne. I guess that's not scary ...

Then she told Brandi that she has four angels with her and someone in her family did good deeds and Brandi inherited the angels. Lucky girl. Then Lisa heard from her grandmother, who may have brought up Alison DuBois. She was trying to get through to her, but Alison was being a beeyotch. Electronic cigarettes for all!

Taylor's reading brings up the "light and dark," the dark possibly being the mob? Taylor's not having any of it, but the other ladies eat up what the psychic has to say about Taylor's relationship. Then Kyle learns that in another life, she was Kim's mother! Kyle needs to give her the space to grow, because Kim will come to resent her as a mother.

Camille's late grandparents are celebrating her divorce from Kelsey. Then the psychic promises a good man coming Camille's way who "swings in the right direction." (Kelsey might be gay or enjoy wearing Camille's clothes? Maybe, we don't know.)

Kyle goes over to visit Kim, and immediately asks, "what's the big secret?" Kim escorts Kyle onto the balcony to tell her about her secret boyfriend. But he's not a total secret because she brought him to some premiere. Kyle's not as happy as Kim. She starts crying because Kim has all these secrets and isn't moving closer but further away.

So wait, is Kim moving in with this Ken character? I guess so. Kyle cries and Kim stays resolved. Paul's Night of Beauty worked for Kim, I must say. Kim promises that she's truly happy: "you see the change in me!" We have noticed a change ...

And of course, Ken is in the house! So Kim wants to introduce them, and ushers Kyle into the house like a child. Kyle has a point, why would you not share that with everyone if you aren't embarrassed.

Next week, we find out that Ken is wearing a wedding band and the girls have an intervention for Taylor. Yay!


(images courtesy of Bravo)

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