'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Season 3 Premiere: 'Life Isn't All Diamonds and Rose'
'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Season 3 Premiere: 'Life Isn't All Diamonds and Rose'
We begin season 3 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills with some A+ catchphrases.

Lisa: "Life isn't all diamonds and rose, but it should be."
Brandi: "Money doesn't give you class, it just gives you money."
Adrienne: "Know your friends, show your enemies the door."
Taylor: "I fought too hard for this zip code, to go home now."
Introducing Yolanda: "I like to have fun, but I don't play games."
Kim: "Life is a journey, and I'm finding myself everyday."
Kyle: "I'm born and raised in Beverly Hills. This is my town."

But, where in the world is Camille Grammar? She's not in the intro. She doesn't have a catchphrase. Reports have gone back and forth regarding her involvement in the show, or if she's going to be featured at all. We shall see. She might be signed on to be filmed, but not as a full housewife.

Vander-digs

The episode begins at Lisa's new house. The new Vanderpump digs are white, fragile-looking and fabulous. Lisa and Brandi are still BFF's. Thank heavens, right? The Vanderpump closet is the is the best part of the entire house, which should come as no surprise. Brandi even points out how much bigger Lisa's closet is than her entire home. And then in true Brandi fashion, she comfortably steps over the line by giving sexual gifts to the Mr. and Mrs.

The two of them chat about the upcoming anniversary party for Villa Blanca. Lisa mentions that she is still very peeved at Adrienne for accusing her of selling a story to the tabloids at last season's reunion and has not invited her to the party.

Maser-hottie

Over to Kyle's house, where we learn that Kim has been out of rehab for about a month and that her relationship with Kim has drastically improved. Kyle's dreamboat of a hubby lures her out to the front lawn under the false pretenses of neighborhood hoodlums destroying it, only to find a gorgeous Maserati parked out front. I mean, the car is gorgeous, but I always find myself more impressed by the large bow than whatever is underneath it. Oh, and it's the one Kyle has had on her wishlist, so, well done, Maurice.

Awkward-sauce

Onto Adrienne and Paul taking a break from their hectic lives for a dinner date. Paul stumbles over his sauce choice, and puts on his Captain Obvious hat to ask Adrienne if her phone is ringing, right after her phone rings. On the line is Taylor, who is in desperate need of a shopping trip to clothe her 10-lbs fuller, frame. Taylor blabs about Lisa's party, to which Adrienne hears about for the first time (clearly not invited), and she is totally thrown off her game.

Yo, Yolanda

Enter Yolanda, the newest housewife. She was born in Holland, got discovered as a teenager, then became a model. Her connection to the housewives is through Lisa, and Lisa's friendship with Yolanda's ex-husband, Mohamed. Yolanda's current spouse, is composer, David Foster. Here is yet another closet that's TO DIE FOR. The house that 60 Grammys built, is absolutely stunning.

Kim-isms

Kim brings her daughter Kimberly (yeah, I know), in tow to Kathy Hilton's house in search of a prom dress for her. Kim, in all of her hillbilly charm, is clueless about buying a boutineer for Kimberly's date and then goes on to offer that she has a boot and can hear. Ha. Ha. Kyle shows up and the three moms talk about Kimberly's 20 year old date to prom and how nervous they are for Kimberly. Kim shares the fact that she has caught the kids kissing but assures Kathy and Kyle that the kids have decided to wait until marriage to have sex. How is the aunt of Paris Hilton so naive about sex, you ask? Oh, you didn't ask?

Well, moving on.

Taylor heads into a store for a shopping trip with Adrienne. Taylor is still picking up the pieces of her life after losing Russell. She seems happier and more secure, despite her ongoing legal and financial woes. A predictable dressing room montage then follows, showcasing Taylor's new bod and fresh start. Adrienne had this to offer, "The higher the heel, the closer to God."

Wifely Bonding

We head over to Villa Blanca for the party filled with winged-servers. Yolanda greets Lisa and is introduced to the other ladies. Kim arrived, on time, and looked better than I've ever seen her. Kyle arrives and nonchalantly greets Yolanda like she's yesterday's diamonds. Brandi immediately comes across as a tall hussy to Yolanda, by saying how great it is that everyone sleeps with everyone in Beverly Hills.

Kim makes a conversation with Kyle regarding Portia's birthday, super uncomfortable by saying that her kids won't want to come. The girls talk astrology for a minute and have a solid bonding sesh over their respective signs.

Adrienne sends a giant flower arrangement to make sure her presence is known at the party. Taylor and her pals poke fun at the flower arrangement and analyze the calculating motives behind Adrienne sending it.

Kim and Kyle dance around whether or not Kim will attend Portia's birthday. The tension has clearly not left the building, despite the absence of booze.

What did you think of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premiere? Will Kim stay sober? Will Kyle and Kim ever get to a good place in their relationship? How will Yolanda fit in with these wild and wealthy women? Please feel free to share your thoughts on this explosive, upcoming season in the comment section below.

Chrissa Hardy
Contributing Writer

(Image courtesy of Bravo)

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