Kim and Sweetie arrive in their perception of "the middle of nowhere" for Kim to do a guest appearance on "Kandi Koated Nights," Kandi's webcast. Tonight KKN is talking about cheaters (and beef curtains. Yup). Are Kim and Sweetie drunk already? Remember how Kandi is trying out celibacy? It turns out it's a bet with her webcast friend Nikki. Anyway, KKN is talking to Kim about being in "a cheating relationship" and it looks like they didn't think she'd get defensive about it.
It's time for NeNe's Nose Reveal! She loves it, it looks great. Her boobs and stomach look good, too, and NeNe can have some wine. Overall, a success. Cynthia picks NeNe up and takes her home (to Cynthia's house) for a glass of wine. NeNe doesn't want to see Gregg because she's getting her happy back. NeNe has checked out of the doctor's office and her marriage, only intensifying Cynthia's fears about marriage. NeNe is thinking about divorce.
Sheree has a third (second point five) date with Dr. Tiy-E at his friend's house in Atlanta. When do we get to see more progress with Sheree's acting career? Regardless, Tiy-E is cooking and Sheree would prefer a five-star restaurant. But let's discuss why Phaedra is having herself photographed eating a pickle. Just like Bethenny Frankel, she's having pregnancy photos taken. Unlike Bethenny, this photo shoot is twelve kinds of wrong. Move over, Snooki, Phaedra is the new Pickle Princess.
Yeah, because THAT makes sense
So on the second/third date from hell (cute only goes so far, Tiy-E), Sheree arrives and is immediately put to work. He thinks that cooking together and feeding her is cute, she finds it revolting. It quickly turns into a game of "lick my thumb, lick it!" and there's no way this "relationship" can last.
Dr. Tiy-E Muhammed is a vegetarian, confident, cheesy, and a real bummer for Sheree.
Kandi has Baby Daddy Drama, as Riley's father is interested in being a part of her life all of a sudden. Riley's not into it but Kandi wants to encourage it, just gently. Kandi breaks down with her mom about being a single parent.
Drama is a bummer, let's go shopping with NeNe and Cynthia! Cynthia needs wedding and honeymoon lingerie, and NeNe needs a new bra. Cynthia invites NeNe to a Mother's Day brunch and they flirt with the idea of inviting Phaedra and Apollo (if they can tear themselves away from the pickle pictures).
Unfortunately, Phaedra made it and Apollo is on his way. Kim couldn't make it but everyone else is there. Peter confronts Phaedra about wanting "a clean man" and she sticks to her guns (ughhh). Bombshell: Phaedra has probably been lying about how pregnant she is. Supposedly she's five months and the doctors said it would be okay for her to have the baby at six or seven months. WHAT? That can't be right . . . Sheree doesn't do manual labor, but she CAN do the math and Phaedra's story isn't adding up. NeNe put it best: "SHUT UP! That is so stupid!" I. love. it. Then the ladies talked about sex and it was pretty . . intimate.
Then Apollo arrived with a Gucci diaper bag for Phaedra and NeNe and Peter got INTO it. He brought up NeNe's marital problems and the claws came out. After flapping his wings, Peter left, and NeNe opened up. Kandi's mother comes to the rescue, telling NeNe, "you only have one life." You go, Joyce! NeNe is really taking us on a journey this season.
YES! Next week Kim is hitting the recording studio!
(images courtesy of Bravo)