Kim Zolciak Narrowly Avoids a Wardrobe Malfunction on 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta'
Kim Zolciak Narrowly Avoids a Wardrobe Malfunction on 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta'
Kim's moment has arrived; she's performing at the White Party in Palm Springs. In her mind, she has officially "made it." So Kim and Sweetie pack enough clothes and shoes for a year, rent a yellow Lamborghini, and drive it to the dankiest rest stop(ish) in America. 

Kandi waits for Kim in Palm Springs and is not impressed with Kim when she rolls up with an entire limo for her luggage. Who wants to shatter Kim's delusions, though? So Kim wants Kandi to walk out halfway through the song and sing (maybe actually sing instead of "sing" like Kim will be doing). Kandi agrees because it's hard to say no to crazy. 

Charlie Altuna shows up to style Kim and her giant boobs. This inflates Kim's head even larger, to the point where she may need a new wig. Then Jeffrey Sanker shows up with his very gay assistant Jose, who Kim felt a "mutual attraction" to. What she lacks in gaydar she makes up for in boobs. Kim chooses a black corset and tutu, and Kandi surmised, "her nipples were going to pop out at any second and that's right up her alley." Kandi is so wise.

At the party the night before, Kim gets frustrated with reporters asking her about her lesbian relationship with Tracy. How dare those homosexuals take interest in homosexuality! "So I slept with a woman, big deal, keep it movin'." She's such a pro now she can't be bothered with relating to her fans. Then Kim danced with some gay guys but didn't want to believe they were gay. For the rest of her time in Palm Springs, Kim will continue to be perplexed by gay men.

Kim was a bit of a diva about her rehearsal and couldn't really figure out her easy routine. Then she gets her makeup done and admits that she hopes she doesn't forget to sing (spoiler alert: she does but it doesn't matter). Then her boobs are inevitably busting out of their encasement so Charlie Altuna adds a halter strap (then later pinned the "skirt" to her panties). The strap pretty much went over the nipples to cover them but her boobs became the least of Kim's worries. Kim is nervous and will probably forget the three places the choreographer told her to walk to. 

Kim was nervous but it went as well as could be expected. Kandi came out and got the crowd excited like a true friend. And it was over in a flash (in the pan). Sadly, it was edited by Bravo to show Kim at her best. Here is the full, un-edited performance. Try not to cry?

This episode was mostly about Kim with a little Kandi but here's what happened for the other Housewives: NeNe got a new dog named "Playa" and talked to her youngest son Brentt about Brice's arrest. Sheree confronted Dwight about his allegation that he put $30,000 into her She by Sheree fashion show. He cited a seamstress and Kinko's but guess what, Sheree's NOT BUYING IT. Sheree's daughter Tierra, is moving in with her boyfriend Damon. Tierra is not ready to have babies.

Cynthia is uncomfortable with Peter's looming 50th birthday and hence, her impending engagement. Cynthia's friend suggests that she tell Peter not to even get her a ring but it's too late; he's having one custom-designed. Her friend gives solid advice: "just do it and don't look back." Phaedra, who is really harping on this "proper Southern woman" thing, wishes everyone would get over that whole "Apollo was in jail" issue. Phaedra wants to raise their baby in a "black household," which entails a lot of discipline and "whooping." Then a couple from Phaedra's church visited to talk to Phaedra and Apollo about the love languages. Phaedra's love language is "receiving gifts" and Apollo doesn't speak gifts.

And get ready for next week because Kim is ready for Kandi to produce another single for her!

(image courtesy of Bravo)