'The Biggest Loser' Recap: Neither Snow Nor Rain ...
'The Biggest Loser' Recap: Neither Snow Nor Rain ...
The red team is reeling after eliminating Patrick. I think they should have eliminated Courtney, but whatever. Dolvett (Good Dolvett, not Evil Dolvett) comforts them and tells them to get some rest. The next morning, Bob sits the black team down for a talk ... with Season 11 runner-up Hannah! Oh my god, I love Hannah. I'm glad she fixed her hair from what Ken Paves did to it.

Hannah tells the black team that she was comfortable "in that fat suit," and the finale was like zipping it off and letting her personality come out. That's what it looks like to us, too. Season 10's Adam meets the red team for a run. He tells them their lives are worth fighting for, and then Evil Dolvett has them carry sandbags to the top of the hill. Ramon carries the sandbags all the way in Patrick's honor, while Vinny falls behind occasionally. I think we're rooting for Ramon.

Courtney, on the other hand, we don't get. Dolvett tells her he sees pain in her. Meanwhile, Hannah teaches the black team how to make Jennie O whatever peppers. Way to promote the sponsor, Hannah! You cut fat without sacrificing flavor!

Anna brings Marci from Season 11 out, and she's a good representative to talk to them. She was such an awesome leader, and reached her goal weight at the ranch. She looks awesome. She encourages the seniors to find their "powerful why." She might be a better motivator than Anna for this group, although Anna has come around on "working with old people." Still, with her bum knee, Bonnie can't do sh*t.

Bob stops the black team mid-workout and tells them to relinquish the power food has over them. This makes Joe cry. He and Food must have a special relationship.

Do you think Anna hates Bonnie? If she does she's hiding it pretty well for now. Wait until they're up for elimination and she'll cut loose on poor Bonnie. Dolvett has discovered that Courtney loves sports, specifically basketball. It's time to play a little one-on-one. Courtney learned about Love and Basketball that day.

For the challenge, Ali in a Cowboy Hat tells the contestants that some day they'll have to go back to the real world and weather "all sorts of difficult conditions," but that day is not today! And the difficult conditions are synthetic weather created by the Biggest Loser production crew. They're playing for letters from home, which immediately makes Bonnie cry. Jennifer has not been cleared to compete, but somehow Bonnie has.

As usual, it's the red team versus the black team, and the blue team of three is way behind. The "snow" hits them and it's practically inconsequential. The black team catches up to the red team, and as usual, it's a real race between two teams. This challenge is pretty lame. Yet again, the black team wins and will be able to open their letters from home.

The blue team is so far behind that after the first two teams finish, they have to finish in a musical montage. I guess this episode is all about Bonnie, or rather, the New Bonnie and the musical montage she has earned. Ali tells them that since they all finished, they all get to read their letters. They're not monsters! Of course they're going to let them read the letters they carried all the way. As a bonus, the black team will get video chats from home.

Everyone gets teary eyed opening their letters:

Video chats? I'm calling it now: this is a boring episode. We saw all the families react on the iPad2, and Antone told his daughter that the going rate for lost teeth is $5 a tooth! Preposterous.

Anna takes the blue team to her custom-built Biggest Loser tennis court. As a bonus, we got to see scary young Anna Kournikova before she got creepy thin. Bob makes the black team get in the pool, and Joe overcomes his fear of drowning on national television. Dolvett relies on a classic: the gym! Maybe it will lead them to the win this time.

At the weigh-in, Ali points out the obvious: the black team has not lost at all. I think it's time for them to go to elimination. But they probably won't. The blue team is up first and Mike lost just 5 pounds. Becky lost 2, but surprisingly, Bonnie lost 7! She earned safety this week, and praise from Anna.

Joe weighs in next for the black team, and loses 6 pounds. Sunny lost 4, Antone lost 8, John lost 9, and they're all upset they didn't drop big numbers like the last three weeks. It's all up to Jennifer now. All she has to do is lose more than 4 pounds. She lost 7! Of course she did.

Courtney starts things off for the red team by losing 3 pounds. It's not great, even though she played all that basketball! Jessica lost 2 pounds, Vinny lost 8, and in order to avoid elimination, Ramon must have lost more than 9 pounds. To beat the old people, Ramon the New Leader lost 11 pounds. Poor blue team.

So the blue team has to vote Becky or Mike out, instead of Bonnie who is basically worthless in challenges. Bonnie has the only vote, so Becky and Mike have to plead to her to keep them. I think she should keep Mike. But instead, Bonnie votes for Mike! That's messed up, girl. The blue team is screwed.

To get back at them, Mike lost 70 pounds at home and looks awesome. Go Coach!

(images courtesy of NBC)