'Bachelor' Bits: Courtney's Reality Show Past, Jake Pavelka's Chippendales Future
'Bachelor' Bits: Courtney's Reality Show Past, Jake Pavelka's Chippendales Future
Meghan Carlson
Meghan Carlson
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
While we wait with bated breath to see whether Ben and his ladies will survive swimming with sharks in Belize, the tabloid sharks continue to circle around the Bachelor and his current frontrunner, Courtney the Ever-Topless Model. And I continue to relish any opportunities to mock them. Like these:

Chris Harrison's Week 6 Blog: In his blog this week, Chris Harrison said some funny things, like that the day of the rose ceremony was "the most interesting part" of the episode. Oh, maybe because it was the CHRIS HARRISON part? And then he basically said that he believes Casey S.'s ex who said they were still dating, and compared Casey to Bentley and his bad "intentions," but then said that Casey didn't have bad intentions and wasn't trying to deceive anyone. I hope whoever hosts the Women Tell All really gives Chris Harrison the business for all this flip-flopping.

Ben's Week 6 Blog: Ben also had some idiotic and self-serving great insights in his People.com blog about his conversation with Casey, such as, "Watching it now I realize I could've been more sympathetic to her," and "I had just sent Blakeley home, which was really hard on both of us, and I kept thinking, "How could you let yourself be here still if you're not that into me?'" How weird, I ask myself that every time I tune in to watch Ben on TV.

I'm Not a Stripper, I Just Cry a Lot: Blakeley Shea was on a radio show in her hometown of Charlotte, North Carolina and actually sounded like a sweet, normal person! Good for her. Watch the video to see her explain why she cried so much when Ben dumped her and that she's definitely not a stripper. At least not as much as Courtney is.

Not Courtney's First Reality Love Rodeo: Reality Steve revealed that back in 2005, Courtney was on ANOTHER reality show in New Zealand called Treasure Island: Couples At War. Can you believe it?! No, not that this isn't Courtney's first time on a tropical game show that mixes love, strategy and vengeance. She's clearly a pro at jungle sex games, no duh. But can you believe that there was a reality show called Treasure Island: Couples at War, and that WE didn't invent it first? Also: The couples were "celebrity" couples (!) and Courtney was on it because her boyfriend at the time was "famous" for being a "Fear Factor grand champion." (!!) I need to watch this show more than I need to breathe. Somebody help?

You Mean Besides the Skinny Dipping One?: On a scale of one to "I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY," how unsurprised would you be if you learned that there's a Courtney Robertson sex tape out there? And on a scale of one to "OH PLEASE GOD NO MY EYES," how much do you not want to watch it?

Another Day, Another Great Life Choice by Jake Pavelka: Jake Pavelka is going to host a bunch of Chippendales shows in Vegas. This former Bachelor is like a fine wine ... that someone opened and left the cork off of, and then it turned into vinegar.

A Message to All Current and Future Bachelor Contestants: Men Are Just Desserts! Finally, this video, courtesy of the brilliant site Everything is Terrible, may come to us from the past, but contains much helpful advice that still holds true for today's Bachelor contestants who think they need a man to be complete, have no hobbies or interests or female friends, and shouldn't be left alone with a computer lest all the data immediate disappears. You know, regular lady problems.

This video made me think of a fun new game called, "If Ben was a dessert, what would he be?" Submit your answer (and why!) in the comments. I think he'd be a Fig Newton, because it's barely a dessert at all. It's more like a punishment.

(Image courtesy of ABC)