'Survivor' Recap: No Surprises at a Surprise Double Elimination
'Survivor' Recap: No Surprises at a Surprise Double Elimination
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
The past few weeks on Survivor: Redemption Island have been a bit dull. Sure, Phillip blew up in a tirade about racism, but the actual eliminations have been predictable. A twist in the game tonight opens the door to some actual drama, but instead, a surprise double elimination unfolds exactly how you think it would. Luckily, that means this is the last boring week and next week, the game begins.

Before any action, Phillip goes on a vision quest to find the shorts Julie hid from him under a rock. He eventually does, thanks to a message from his dead Cherokee great, great grandfather and gloats crazily, referencing Jack Nicholson's classic line from A Few Good Men: "You can't stand the truth! You can't take the truth!" And you, Phillip, can't HANDLE sanity.

The Duel

Matt starts crying because he doesn't really want to be in this game anymore, but God keeps making him win. Stupid God, why can't You let him lose?

The challenge is shuffleboard, and once again, only one person will be eliminated while two will stay. Matt is the first to win, meaning that God isn't done with him yet, even if Matt is done with the game. I'm amused by Jeff Probst's jokes about God, comparing the 40-day fast of Jesus Christ to the 39 days of the Survivor game. I can't decide if that's offensive or not, but it certainly seems to me that he's making light of Matt's lack of enthusiasm for the game. Mike also wins, meaning Julie goes to the jury.

The Immunity Challenge

It's a good, odl-fashioned one-on-one log roll.

Grant vs. Boston Rob: Boston Rob is eliminated.
Andrea vs. Ashley: Andrea is eliminated.
Ralph vs. Steve: Steve is eliminated.
Natalie vs. Phillip: Natalie is eliminated.

Grant vs. Ashley: Ashley is eliminated.
Ralph vs. Phillip: Phillip is eliminated.

Grant vs. Ralph: Ralph is eliminated.

Grant wins immunity and chocolate cake! He gets to pick two people to eat with, and he chooses Boston Rob and Andrea. But they only get two minutes to eat, so they stuff their faces in a display of grotesque America consumption.

Do you want to know why this country is morbidly obese? It's because eating as much cake as you can in two minutes with only your bare hands is a reward. In the Roald Dahl book Matilda, Miss Trunchbull made Bruce Bogtrotter eat a giant chocolate cake in front of everyone as a punishment. That's how the British do it.

Tribal Council

Due to Andrea's sadness over tricking Matt, Boston Rob and Grant get suspicious of her and consider voting her out before the remaining two Zapaterans. But then he changes his mind after Steve, who initially seemed out of it, tried recruiting the Ometepe girls to vote out Boston Rob.

There's also a lot of freaking out because Jeff Probst gave them a surprise package that they can't open until Tribal Council, but which contains a twist.

The first vote goes as expected:

Ralph is voted out 6-2.

That's followed by the big twist: The remaining seven will immediately play another immunity challenge and then immediately vote out another person. So wait, the next Redemption Island duel is going to be a four-way? That's almost crazier than this actual twist.

The castaways all get cards and have to repeat a chain of symbols Jeff gives them. Boston Rob is the winner, so he has immunity and the second vote begins immediately.

And if you were hoping for something different, too damn bad.

Steve is voted out 6-1.

Well, at least they put a rush on these two eliminations so the real game can begin next week.

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(Image courtesy of CBS)