David takes a break from being awkward to tell Shannon that he's booked them a hotel room at the St. Regis for the evening. No, wait, he still manages to make things awkward. There's just something off about these two. When they're not bickering, they're doing a bad job at pretending to like each other.
When they get to the hotel, David starts things off on a weird foot by telling the bellhop that Shannon snores. Then Shannon feels the need to explain to said bellhop she isn't the one who snores, but David is. Then David tells her to get into bed before that same bellhop has even left the room. Are you cringing yet?
They get into their robes and get into bed with their Bloody Marys. Shannon complains that he never makes time for her. But now they are both sitting in bed, sipping their cocktails with nothing to say to each other. A romantic getaway indeed.
At dinner, after David tells Shannon she needs a boob job (not to enlarge, just to firm!), she apologizes for not being as attentive as he should be. He makes a commitment to her to try harder. Starting with the rose petals he laid out for her on the bed of the hotel room. She's happy and impressed, although she needs a swig or two of vodka before feeling totally comfortable with her husband. She says her idea of romance is when she and her husband are completely in tune. And she's ready to connect with David tonight. Ew. Ugly Sweater Party
Eddie and Tamra are going to the ugly sweater party at her friend Danielle's. They're bringing Christmas donations for the children's hospital. Terry and Heather are headed to the same party in matching sweaters. Terry's already jealous of Eddie, knowing that he's going to be wearing a tight sweater that shows his muscles. Of course he's right.
The new housewife, Lizzie Rovsek, arrives at the party with her (hot!) husband, Christian. She makes her ugly sweater cute by bedazzling it with poinsettia and snowflakes. She takes a tumble and spills her drink, but she recovers nicely because she is a former Miss USA contestant after all. Miss Kentucky, to be exact.
It turns out that Tamra and Lizzie live in the same neighborhood, but they haven't come across one another because Lizzie is busy at home with two babies, both under three. She tells Heather how she met her husband in San Diego, they dated for a year and then broke up. Four years later, they met again and haven't been apart since. Heather has a good first impression of Lizzie. She thinks she's the total package.
Tamra and Heather are getting along well until Heather uses a big word (amalgam) and it offends Tamra. Then it offends Heather that it offended Tamra. So I guess these two aren't on the greatest of terms again after all. Brooks is Back
Vicki's hired a decorator to make over Coto Insurance. She's picking out wallpaper, but she doesn't want anything too dark that will make her employees fall asleep in the middle of the day. Now that she lives in an empty house, she says she would rather stay at the office more than go home and be alone. I feel a little sad for Vicki, until she says "FML" or, in her words, "Frick my life" and then I remember that she's a little crazy.
She meets Brooks for dinner while everyone else is at the ugly sweater party. He's the same sleazy sleaze we remember from last season. She tells him about her conversation with Briana and how it didn't go so well because Briana's mad he never apologized. Brooks claims he never had the opportunity to apologize and that he would love to sit down with Ryan and Briana and apologize and explain himself. But they obviously can't force her to do that. They tell each other how sexy they think the other is and it's almost as gross as Shannon and David, but in a different way. At least these two seem to like one another.
Lizzie and her husband, Christian, have been married for four years and they have two boys. She was raised on a horse farm in Kentucky and moved to LA to become an actress, but only after getting a college degree in fashion and fashion marketing. She gave up her acting career when she married Christian to move with him to Orange County, but now she has her own swimwear line called Sun Kitten, where she is in charge of everything from pattern making to photo shoots. She says people often underestimate her when they find out she was a beauty queen, but she was also the valedictorian of her high school class. So Heather's assessment that she's a "total package" kind of girl is spot-on.
Tamra and Eddie have a date night where Tamra cautiously broaches the subject of having another baby. Eddie says that if that's what she wants, then they'll find a way to figure it out. The only thing is that he doesn't want to raise the baby so Tamra would have to do that 100% on her own. Tamra thinks that Eddie just has cold feet about having kids, but his behavior seems off-putting to me. Tamra also seems to be going through some issues with her own kids. She says she just wants to have a baby all to herself that Simon (her ex-husband) won't take away half the time. What Tamra may really need is a good therapist.
The Real Housewives of Orange County
airs Mondays at 9pm on Bravo.
(Image courtesy of Bravo)