Previously on Rock of Love 2
: The girls desecrated America by performing a “USO-ish” show. Inna
was eliminated for disrespecting the old USO ladieswho taught them.
calls up her second husband and tells him that, because of her feelings for Bret Michaels
, she wants to go ahead with the divorce, which is news to him. So not only is Kristy Joe emasculating him on national TV, but we also have concrete proof that Bret Michaels is solely responsible for at least one divorce in this country. Ambre
is shocked to learn Kristy Joe's “ex-husband” wasn't really an “ex” all along. To deal with the house drama, Bret gets in his car and runs. He runs so far away. That's the smartest thing this man has ever done.
The Rock of Love 2
ladies get their assignment, which is to make a music video for one of Bret's songs. Destiney
serves as creative director for Jessica
to the song “Go That Far.” Ambre is creative director for Megan
and Kristy Joe for “Fallen.” Daisy's idea involves, what else, strip clubs. Ambre channels her inner film auteur and makes an emotional video with Kristy Joe crying in bed. As Megan observes, this is not much of an acting stretch.
Time ends, and Bret screens the two videos. The “Fallen” team has a story, I guess, about Kristy Joe crying over her man in black and white, then he comes and gives her a rose, and everything turns to color. As for Destiney's team, Ambre sums it up best: “Daisy's on a stripper pole, there was girls kissing, there's sexy stuff involved and boobies everywhere. Oh my God, they're so gonna win this.” Her analysis is right, but the conclusion is somehow wrong. Bret prefers the semi-coherent storyline of “Fallen” to the amorphous sexiness of implied lesbian in the other video. Ambre gets a solo date, while Kristy Joe and Megan share a group date.
Afterwards, Destiney goes on an anti-Kristy Joe tirade. In what could be my favorite confessional ever, Daisy calls her opponent “Crappy Joe,” then, slight as it is, you hear her laugh at her own joke. In Daisy's mind, I guess that's what passes for clever wit.
Ambre's date takes place in Bret's bedroom, and he brings in some Eastern medicine yogi, and Ambre's mind immediately turns to a threesome. Interestingly enough, she doesn't seem offended or even slightly put off by this. The yogi has them meditate on past lives or some such nonsense, and Bret is as confused as I am about what's going on.
Just as they're about to achieve enlightenment, Kristy Joe comes knocking on the door. Bret claims the only two people he wouldn't be upset to see at the door are God and Big John holding a beer. I guess those two are roughly equal in terms of importance. Bret sends the guru up to Kristy Joe to clean her chakras and talk about sad trees, frustrated oceans and crazy mountains. Here's a trivia question: what's the difference between this guru and a crazy homeless man on the street? It's a trick question, because there is none. Afterwards, she goes to tell Bret about the phone call with her husband, and Bret is as put off as he should be.
The next day, Megan and Kristy Joe go on their date to some nice restaurant. Seemingly out of nowhere, Megan straddles Bret and starts making out with him. This makes Kristy Joe emotional (what doesn't?), so she leaves. Once Bret's mouth is no longer to produce saliva, he seeks out Kristy Joe and has the most awkward conversation ever in which he calls her crazy and she says she doesn't like him. They get back to the mansion, and Ambre calls out Kristy Joe on all her B.S. and interrupting her date.
Rock of Love 2 Elimination Time
! It comes down to Megan and Kristy Joe. Bret calls Kristy Joe down and asks her if she wants to stay. She says she needs to go home to take care of her business, and as such, the amount of crying on this show is going to go down 350 percent. Bret walks her out, then returns, throwing her pass on the floor. He gives a short speech about Megan staying, though she doesn't get a VIP pass, then he leaves because he's so emotionally wrecked.
Next week on Rock of Love 2
: The ex-boyfriends arrive! Daisy used to date some tragic Tommy Lee wannabe. And one of Bret's old flames shows up to…Heather from season 1! She immediately gets the girls drunk past the point of oblivion.
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of VH1)