Apparently you don't have to live outside Boston to know that the Patriots suck. They're certainly not very trustworthy, and how could they be after Bill Belichick got caught up in the Spygate scandal?
I'm starting to learn a few things about Revolution
after four episodes watching it under a more critical eye (and I don't mean the dollar-bill eye that is the symbol of the new USA), mainly that the show is neither good nor bad. It just consistently is what it is, and it's not a something you watch on the edge of your seat.
In fact, my girlfriend watched "Patriot Games" while playing Candy Crush and following the Tigers game on her phone while I took notes. And neither one of us feels like she missed anything.
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The main issue is that four episodes in, we still don't know what the point is. Thus far, the goals have always been apparent. For the first half of season 1, it was to get Danny back after Tom kidnapped him. Then, as the conspiracy of how the lights went out unfolded during part 2, it was to get to the Tower and restore the power.
Now, all we know is that the U.S. government is shady, responsible for the nukes and somehow involved in a conspiracy so deep that even without technology, they're somehow deeply embedded in all aspects of the new world.
For those of you looking for a recap, Halloween sucks in the future. Kids play ring toss games while evading machete death, there's no such thing as easily accessible candy and no one wears slutty costumes. But at least hookers still have dead eyes and tramp stamps.
For real, though, I can sum up what actually happened to each character in two sentences or less. So here goes.
Charlie and Monroe Team Up (Two for One!)
Charlie is enjoying some booze in North Texas, where there's apparently no drinking age in the future, when four would-be rapists slip her a roofie and attempt to gang rape her before Monroe barges in and kills them all with double swords. He convinces her they need to team up, and they head to North Willoughby to meet up with Miles and Rachel.
Tom Gets a Promotion
Tom breaks up a fight, loses a molar and finds out his boss doesn't like him. So he tracks said boss to a whorehouse where he is using drugs, unsuccessfully tries to find out where Jason has been taken, overdoses the boss and takes over his job after the secretary lies and says he was transferred.
Rachel Chooses Kill Over Be Killed
Rachel wakes from her arrow-induced slumber, breaks into the US government, sees the eye seal and confides everything to Ken (the bald black guy who looks familiar but no one knows who he is), who announces he is a Patriot and tries to stab her before she pulls an Aaron Hernandez and buries him in the grave meant for her. She and Miles decide to form a resistance, much like Rachel did against the Visitors in the V remake.
Even had room for a joke in there.
Miles and Spontaneous Combustion
Miles hops the fence and finds Titus, who says the Patriots rounded up his "family" and put them on train cars before he escaped to his books. After Miles kills Titus in a knife fight, he stumbles upon the U.S. government murdering the train-car people, gets caught and watches in stunned surprise as his captors spontaneously burst into flames.
Jesus/Aaron Controls Fire(Flies)
Aaron McBeardy goes blind and sees Miles through the eyes of fireflies before his wifey busts him out of the trance. Later, while she watches him sleep, he has another vision of Miles getting caught, so he lets the fireflies loose and the guys catch fire.
Boom goes the dynamite.
And Finally, Your U.S. Government
The Patriots apparently have plans for a "better" America that involves execution-style murders to make the townsfolk think Titus' band is still out there and it's safer inside the city walls. They've also been around for years and have plans for dozens of places in "Everytown, USA," but we have no idea what sort of ridiculuous conspiracy is at work here, only that we don't like it.
Told you I could do it.
So What Does it all Mean?
Much like Monroe's sentiment of finding Rachel and Miles to try and make up for whatever he can, this is all about finding a purpose.
We got our standard violent deaths and vague plot advancements, but what exactly are we working towards here? This U.S. government conspiracy seems far too deep running to have a simple answer, and some of the action is now bordering on the supernatural, which worries me. All along, everything has still kind of been based in science, which helps me through some of the rougher spots.
But so far, there's no explanation as to how Aaron is connected to these fireflies and can make people burst into flames at his whimsy, and Miles and Rachel have formed a viva la resistance against the Patriots, even though they have no idea what they're up against (other than a buttload of machine guns).
And the Charlie-Monroe thing has been kind of pointless so far, other than to eventually reunite everyone, which didn't necessarily need to take four-plus hours.
In the end, though, I don't think you're supposed to over-think this show, which admittedly makes my job a bit harder. It's like the Two Broke Girls of violent post-apocalyptic TV dramas; it's better to just watch and enjoy. Trying to make sense of it all just spins you in unnecessary circles. And you know what that does? It makes you dizzy. And then you want to sit down and take a nap. Yawn.
What do you think? Are you more than superficially vested in Revolution? Or is it just something you watch and find entertaining? What conclusions would you come to if you looked at it through a sharper lens?
You can watch Revolution every Wednesday at 8pm on NBC.