It's the holidays, and you know what that means: Regular TV takes a break, and cheesy made-for-TV movies take over.
Saturday, December 18:A Christmas Wedding
So warm up the cocoa, kiss the DVR and lower your standards, because we scoured the listings for the best so-bad-they're-great holiday made-for-TV movies you should watch this week. If you're looking for puppies, time travel, Vanessa Williams or wishing upon a Christmas star, there's no need to choose. We've got 'em all!
Fa la la la la, la la la-let's see what we've got:
starring Sarah Paulson (Studio 60
), Dean Caine (Superman
), and Eric Mabius (Ugly Betty
3pm, LifetimeWhat it's about:
Gettin' married on Christmas! Mishaps! Emily and Ben, for whatever reason, are planning a wedding on Christmas. Emily, for whatever reason, gets called away, leaving Ben to plan the wedding. Men aren't good at all that girly stuff! Get real! Can Ben pull his sh*t together in time for the wedding of Emily's dreams? Also, DEAN CAIN IS THERE.Watch if you like:
Wedding movies; mischief, laugh riots; seeing men out of their element (like in the kitchen, am I right?)Sunday, December 19:The Most Wonderful Time of Year
starring Henry Winkler and Brooke Burns
6pm, Hallmark ChannelWhat it's about:
A young lady Scrooge-in-training who rediscovers the meaning of Christmas through the help of three men--a kid, a hot guy and her older uncle--who are like Scrooge's Three Spirits except they're real and one of them is a hot guy whom she will probably marry.Watch if you like:
To dwell on how low Henry Winkler has stooped; to see the meaning of Christmas get conflated with finding a man.
8pm, Lifetime Movie NetworkWhat it's about:
A married couple doesn't know the true meaning of Christmas and receives their karmic reward in the form of a plane crash. Everyone except their children assumes/hopes they're dead especially the husband's business partner who, SPOILER ALERT, is probably responsible for the crash. DOUBLE SPOILER ALERT: They learn the true meaning of Christmas by the end of it and don't get a divorce.Watch if you like:
Christmas plane crashes; discovering the true meaning of Christmas; shady business partners.Monday, December 20:Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus
7pm, Lifetime What it's about:
Basically the plot of The Santa Clause 2
but with STEVE GUTTENBERG as "Santa's heir." He's got to fall in love and find a "Mrs. Claus" before he can take over. You get the gist.Watch if you like: The Santa Clause 2
but hate Tim Allen or movies that were released in theaters; Police Academy
.Tuesday, December 21:A Diva's Christmas Carol
starring Vanessa Williams!
8pm, Lifetime Movie Network What it's about:
Who cares? VANESSA WILLIAMS! But if you must know, Ebony Scrooge is a diva and, duh, a Scrooge. Enjoy this modern, diva-licious take on Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol," but you'd better believe this one will be much
more fabulous. Watch if you like:
Vanessa Williams; A Christmas Carol
; when mean people/divas learn what Christmas is really all about from three fabulous ghosts.A Grandpa For Christmas
starring ERNEST EFFING BORGNINE and some little girl
10pm, Hallmark ChannelWhat it's about:
An old-timey "hoofer" who only discovers that he gives a crap about his granddaughter when he's old and alone in a retirement home and (SPOILER ALERT) her mom/his daughter almost dies in a car wreck.Watch if you like:
Ernest Borgnine; "hoofers"; Grandpas who need to learn to love again; Wounded car accident victims who are healed through Christmas miracles (probably).Wednesday, December 22:Santa Buddies: The Legend of Santa Paws
6pm, ABC FamilyWhat it's about:
"Talking puppies must save the day when the world forgets the meaning of Christmas." That is the official description. A jokey description would be superfluous.Watch if you like:
Puppies wearing Santa hats; Puppies wearing Santa hats while talking without moving their mouths; Puppies who save Christmas; PUPPIES!Thursday, December 23:Three Wise Women
starring Fionnula Flanagan (Lost)
8pm, Hallmark Channel
What it's about:
A woman who is about to marry a total d-bag gets a surprise visit from her guardian angel who TRAVELS THROUGH TIME to enlist the help of the woman's past teenager self and future old lady self to talk her out of it.Watch if you like:
Repeatedly slapping the space-time continuum in the face; women who don't know how to lead their own lives or make rational decisions without the help of angels; straight-talk from your teenage self because she knows everything; angels who can time travel.Friday, December 24:Eve's Christmas
starring Elisa Donovan (Clueless
7pm, LifetimeWhat it's about:
An unfulfilled ad exec meets a homeless man who tells her to "wish upon the Christmas Star," which sends her back in time to right her wrongs with the guy she dumped right before their Christmas wedding. She is terrible at understanding both time travel and how to right wrongs.Watch if you like:
Wishing upon the Christmas Star (because that's a thing); magical homeless guardian angels; mayhem, mishaps and miscommunications brought upon by time travel to the early 1990s; Back to the Future
but make it way worse and about Christmas weddings.
Not all presents come in boxes. Happy cheesy Christmas movie hunting, everyone!
- Meghan Carlson and Carla Patton, BuddyTV Writers and resident Lifetime Original Movie lovers(Image: Disney)