This week on Reign
, aka Game of Thrones
-light, Nostradamus has visions of war, Francis of France proves where his heart lies and Queen Mary is torn between passion and duty. We are also subjected to girl talk among Queen Mary's court, who share their most intimate secrets about kissing and boys and blah, blah, blah. The costumes are great, the story is better and, overall, this episode is a step in the right direction from previous weeks.
Cut to Queen Mary and her ladies chatting about their best first kisses. Lady Kenna shares that life is too short to kiss boys and she has had her best kiss with a (capital M) man. No one knows who she is talking about, but it sure is spicy girl talk. Griar? Greer? Greir? We'll call her Gruyere as in the cheese since this is how her name sounds. She shares that she is saving her first kiss for Tomas, aka the bastard child of the king of Portugal, who is conveniently in town this week. She isn't of noble blood, so she wants to make the next best connection.
Portugal vs. France
Uncle Claude brings Queen Mary word from her mother that times are tough on ye olde Scottish borders as the English troops are invading. He implores Mary to utilize her alliance with France to mobilize troops to protect the Scottish people. Mary tries to convince King Henri to send six companies from France, but he doesn't think it prudent for France were he to lose those men. Francis agrees with Mary, but he feels as though he doesn't have any real power yet.
Upset, Mary plays kick the ball with Prince Charles. She kicks the ball high into a tree, which she climbs, jewels and all, to fetch. She is caught by Gruyere and Tomas, who Mary accidentally body slams on her way down from the branches. Tomas is apparently taken with her bold behavior and ultimately proposes marriage to her, swearing that his father, king of Portugal, is fighting to make him legitimate since he's his only son.
Mary is hesitant to accept his proposal since she loves Francis (or so we are lead to believe), but Tomas is promising to send six companies of men from Portugal to protect Scotland in exchange for the engagement. He also wins her over with a very sensual dance to "Portuguese music" at dinner that night. Her dress is to die, but the chemistry is lacking as far as I'm concerned.
Gruyere is jealous of Mary, since she wants Tomas all to herself, and storms out of the dance. Mary is appalled and ends up telling Francis that Tomas proposed. Francis becomes jealous and seems impassioned to do something to win Mary back.
Gruyere isn't upset for long as she seeks solace in the sweet company of a kitchen servant. He's cute, he's nice, he makes food. We have a winner. They chat into the wee hours of the night and he kisses Gruyere. (Her first kiss!) She tells him she can't since he is a servant and storms out only to return the next day and give him lusty eyes. Many mixed signals among these folk.
Visions of War
Nostradamus has a vision of war while Queen Catherine is getting her sleeping pills from him. He shares that he sees death and destruction upon France, but no specifics. Super helpful there, guy.
At the previously mentioned dinner/dance, Nostradamus has another vision of war where he predicts that "The lions will fight the dragon on the field of poppies." No one knows what this means and he shuffles out in his fur-trimmed shame.
Francis tries to convince King Henri that sending companies to protect Scotland is a good idea. He engages in a sparring match of wooden swords with dad and, despite winning, still doesn't convince the king to protect Scotland since it is bad business for the Realm.
Meanwhile, King Henri has turned his attention toward (capitol M) man lover, Kenna. They spend their days making out in hallways, but she confesses she's not ready for anything more. He says that's cool and totally respects her (like all oppressive kings of yore, yeah?) Later, he turns his attention to another lady. Francis takes this opportunity to threaten the king, saying he'll reveal all of his affairs to someone or another if he doesn't send troops to Scotland. The king is impressed with his son's threat and agrees.
Francis sends Bash, his brother, to alert the troops. Sad day, Bash gets gutted by someone and returns on his frantic horse the next morning bleeding from the belly, French troops unsent. King Henri tells Francis that this is what happens when you follow your heart. Francis is sad. Nostradamus has yet another vision about war. We get it,
winter war is coming.
Francis kisses Mary (her first real kiss!) and tells her to accept Tomas' proposal since it's best for her country. She says that she would rather have hope with him than certainty with someone else, but he isn't convinced. Pretty mixed signals for a stressed out 16-year-old queen, but okay. She agrees to marry Tomas, who promptly sends six companies to defend Scotland. Portugal's sigil is a dragon and England's is a lion. Foreshadowing. Mary looks to the water and hopes that she is making the right choice. Probably not.
airs Thursdays at 9pm on The CW.
(Image courtesy of The CW)