This week on Pretty Little Liars
, both love and murder are in the air. In Rosewood, for every one person having a beautiful romantic moment, there is another person ramming their car into someone's face. That's just the circle of life in that town.
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For instance, Wren and Spencer reconnect after Spencer's transformation into a jungle cat
from last episode. I have to admit, that performance would have totally made me fall in love with Spencer again too. But shortly afterward, Spencer is nearly killed by her own shower.
Aria and Ezra reconnect, but then Mama Fitz"scary" decides to make baby mama Maggie homeless. And while Emily and Paige have a sweet moment, Ashley Marin rams her car into creepy Detective Wilden and then drives away. It's a great day for love, but an even better day for attempted murder!
While the episode sported tons of twists and turns and even a few new clues into the mystery of Alison's murder, this week was more focused on the relationships.
The relationships the liars have with each other (Team Sparia forever!), with their family, and with their romantic partners were showcased. Next week looks like a return to the action, mystery and liar Nancy Drew
-ing. But this week, in between the chaos, it was nice to see the liars deal with their even more chaotic personal lives.
Nothing Good Ever Happens in the Marin Kitchen
When pressed about why Wilden is giving her the stink-eye, Hanna immediately crumbles and blurts the whole Alison-murder theory to her mom. Unlike Spencer, or her new trainee Emily, Hanna would make a terrible spy.
Ashley is like "well no wonder that sketchy little freak wants to kill you! You can't just accuse every person who seems like a murderer of murder in this town! First, you would get nothing else accomplished because the list is so long. But more importantly, that's the ticket to murderville!" Hanna nods wisely but takes none of this in and Ashley plans on getting blackout drunk later and hiding valuables in Wheat Thins boxes.
Later, Ashley is at dinner when a giant goblet of wine is dropped off at her table. "What is this? A small?" Ashley wonders, until Wilden slinks into sight.
Wilden gets really weird and really creepy about how Hanna can't just go around accusing him of murder all willy-nilly. Because in this town, baseless murder accusations get you killed and thrown into a box-- but only after you're forced to listen to Adam Lambert
. It's bleak.
Ashley rejects the giant glass of wine, which is when you know she's seriously freaked out about Wilden. Despite her one single sip of the wine, Wilden pulls her over on the side of the road and then gets really murder-y. Ashley Marin, as a lifelong resident of Rosewood, knows a good murder-face when she sees one.
So she immediately jumps into her car and tries to get away. But Wilden won't step aside and even looks like he's going for his gun. But it's his implied threat against Hanna that really sets Ashley over the edge. She slams on the gas and runs right over him.
When Hanna comes down to the kitchen later, all the lights are off and Ashley is sitting in the dark like a super villain. "No big sweetie, but I think I crushed Detective Wilden with my car. Would you go back to the crime scene with me for moral support?"
"God, why does nothing good ever happen in this kitchen? Is it cursed by the spirit of that random ghost from the Halloween special?"
They show up where Ashley hit Wilden and the police car is still there. You know what they say, the family that buries bodies together stays together! Hanna and Ashley bond in the weirdest ways.
Ashley tells Hanna she should stay in the car so she won't see the carnage, but literally Hanna's whole life is hiding crime scenes, destroying or finding evidence, and looking at dead bodies. She's pretty unfazed. "Do you think his body will fit in the lasagna box?"
But Wilden is as gone as Jason was last week. There's someone in Rosewood stealing all the attractive, creepy guys! And if all the sketchy guys in Rosewood are gone what will be left? It'll just be a town with a bunch of underage girls and doll shops.
Also, Ashley and Hanna might want to remember that every police cruiser comes with a camera installed. A camera that managed to catch all the hit-and-run action. Spencer vs. The Shower
Spencer is still looking bleak, but at least this week she has attempted to brush her hair. It was probably like two brush strokes but something is better than nothing at this point. And she's even thought about moving on, at least with Wren.
Wren, who has waited his entire run on the show for the moment when an underage girl would be sad and desperate enough to give him a shot, is pretty psyched. "Part of me hoped that with Toby out of the picture, I finally stood a chance," Wren tells her charmingly.
So Spencer decides she can do worse than a cute British doctor, and goes to dinner with him. Outside on the streets, they kiss and Spencer seems marginally less glum for the first time in weeks.
Which means she must get steamed to death in her shower! At least according to 'A'. "Steamy with Wren, steamy with me," which reads like some weird Grey's Anatomy
Spencer is saved by Team Sparia when Aria pops by and saves her from her fancy shower. That's why you should just have a normal shower. My hot water pressure is so bad I couldn't be steamed to death even if my shower tried really, really hard.
Spencer seems to think Toby was behind the attempted steam murder, although maybe she should be looking a little closer to home. After all, big sister Melissa was in the house and immediately recognized that Spencer had gotten friendly with Wren.
Whoever was responsible on the 'A' team, it looks like Spencer is finally ready to spill the beans to Aria, Hanna, and Emily about Toby's complicity. Next week is going to be a bumpy ride. Ezra Returns
Aria is still reeling from the kiss with Wesley when Ezra pops back into town. He tells Aria he's more committed to her than ever, even though he basically just dropped off the face of the earth for the last few weeks.
Something weird happens in this episode, and it's not just that Aria is wearing what looks like a shirt that was half-chewed by a lawnmower. No, it's like Aria has an out-of-body experience where she realizes her relationship with Ezra is actually kind of weird. She's like "I went from high school to minivans really fast."
Aria has always wanted to be a mature, sophisticated woman who wears spikes on everything and has bad poems written about her, but she's never particularly wanted to be some kid's stepmom. There's being adventurous and mature for your age, and then there's realizing your boyfriend has a kid, you're still in high school and that's not normal. Although, considering Aria and her friends are nearly killed every other week, "normal" is a relative term.
When Mama Fitzgerald comes to town to cause trouble, she really causes trouble. You have to admire her commitment. Ezra stands up for his relationship with Aria, which convinces Aria being a stepmom might not be so bad. I mean, she could start making little Malcolm outfits made entirely out of feathers! They kiss and make up and it's actually quite sweet.
But this moment of bliss doesn't last long. Ezra gets a call from Maggie, panicked because the condo she lives in is about to get sold. Who's the seller? His mother of course. Looks like things are only going to get more complicated.The Emancipation of CeCe
Once again, now that Spencer is out of commission, Emily has really been stepping up her game. When she notices that Paige is off to the costume store to investigate the Queen of Hearts costume, she and Hanna tag along. "Oh really? You're just casually Bing'ing the costume store? There are several things wrong with that picture, and the least of them is that no one would ever use Bing." Paige, busted, let's them tag along.
Only Rosewood would have a year-round Halloween store. Aren't those stores seasonal? Shouldn't they be selling something else by now? Of course in Rosewood, it's always creepy enough to be Halloween.
Once in the store, we're re-introduced to Shana from the Pretty Dirty Secrets webisodes
. And Shana is throwing crazy shade at Emily for no apparent reason. It's pretty obvious to everyone with eyes that Shana is liking Paige and her new all-braids-all-the-time look. Emily, however, is like "ain't nobody got time for that" and takes her lumberjack plaid vest on a special mission to hijack the credit card information she needs.
Later she confronts Paige about the weird chemistry with Shana, and Paige admits she dated Shana when Emily was in Haiti. But Shana was just a placeholder for Emily, because no one in the universe could actually pull off a plaid vest that ugly except Emily Fields. Emily accepts this super adorable explanation, and the two kiss and it's adorable.
What's not adorable? CeCe Rhodes hitting the road posthaste. After a little "chat" with Detective Wilden, CeCe is just straight up packing her bags and fleeing. "Why did you tell everyone you have ever met in your entire life about your Wilden-killed-Alison theory?!" CeCe asks in a sweaty panic. "I held on to that theory for years!"
Emily asks CeCe why Jason remembers seeing her the night of Alison's murder. CeCe says Alison was afraid of some videos she had and mentions that Melissa really wanted these videos. Ali went to get the videos and that was the last CeCe ever saw her.
As a last question, Emily asks who took the picture of CeCe, Alison, and Wilden on the boat. Of course, the answer is Melissa Hastings.
Next week: Spencer hunts down everyone on the 'A' team like a pale, angry Buffy
, Hanna checks all the pasta boxes for Wilden in vain, and Emily's all-plaid attire nets her a job as an ice road trucker.
What did you think of this week's episode? Did Melissa kill Alison? What will happen with Ezra and Aria? And will Spencer spill the beans about Toby? Sound off in the comments!You don't need A to keep up with all the lies. Just add Pretty Little Liars to your very own watch-list so you can keep up with all the suspects in Rosewood. Download the BuddyTV Guide for free for your phone.(Image courtesy of ABC Family)