'Pretty Little Liars' Fan Columnist: In 'A' We Mistrust
'Pretty Little Liars' Fan Columnist: In 'A' We Mistrust
Jen Abidor
Jen Abidor
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
The unspoken motto of the PLL gang is: trust no one. With A on the loose, and Ali's murder still unsolved, they can't afford to trust anyone but themselves. So, in that spirit, here's a list of what not to trust from tonight's episode:

Don't trust the cop in cahoots (and apparently in bed) with the blind girl: The girls learned last week that officer Garrett has been dealing with Jenna, unless he bought her pottery from the "blind artists crafts fair." Jenna and Garrett are definitely hooking up, and still murmuring about "the Jason thing."

Don't trust the brother of the dead girl who can't remember the night of her murder and may have buried his murder weapon: Unfortunately for Jason, all signs are pointing to him as Ali's murderer, and he might just end up in H-E-double-hockey-sticks. But that would be way too easy, and he is way too hot to have murdered his sister, am I right?

Don't trust your underaged girlfriend when she tells you "not to worry" about her growing attraction to said potential murderer: ... and besides, Aria believes in him. Looks like there's a big Jason-shaped wedge between Aria and Ezra, and it will only get worse, despite Ezra's attempt to recreate the hot pottery scene from Ghost. As Aria notes, that movie ends badly. Let's hope that's not foreshadowing. Please don't leave, Ezra Fitz. Please?

Don't trust your pain relieving cream: To mimic tonight's Twitter trend, #pooremily! She's been unknowingly rubbing cream spiked with  human growth hormone on her poor ulcered belly, so she was not only hospitalized for the "hole in her stomach," but she tested positive for steroids. Looks like her swimming days are over, and she can kiss Danby goodbye. 

Don't trust the people handling your hospital food: Emily learns of A's involvement when she opens her food tray and discovers a note from A saying, "Em, want some cream for your coffee?" Sadly, the note probably tasted better than the hospital food. But joking aside, this means that A has access to the hospital. Yikes. 

Don't trust your daughter's scholarship letters: When Mr. Fields shows up to surprise Emily, he surprises her even more by being extremely supportive and reminding her that swimming is not the be all and end all of her college aspirations. Emily toys with telling him the truth about her fictitious scholarship letter, but settles on a hug instead. 

Don't trust yourself around your sister's hot British ex-fiance: ... especially when he's in scrubs. With Wren back in the picture, let's hope Spencer can stay true to Toby. 

Don't trust that your parents can fix their relationship: Hanna's parents decide to end their little honeymoon phase once Hanna receives the "save the date" to Mr. Marin's upcoming wedding. Can you say awkward?

Don't trust your gut when it tells you a cop is following your shady boyfriend: When a guy seems to be trailing Caleb, Hanna tries to come to his defense, thinking it's a cop keeping tabs on his shady dealings. Turns out there's more to this guy than meets the eye. Dare I guess that he is a blood relative? Maybe even his father? 

Don't trust your son after he's been caught breaking and entering: Really Ella, this is a no-brainer. We need to get to the bottom of Mike's recent bouts of kleptomania-with-a-side-of-moodiness.

Don't trust the teenaged candy-stripers: Aria and Spencer don some cute uniforms so they can access Alison's autopsy. Don't worry, they're just doing normal teen stuff like sneaking into morgues. No biggie.

Don't trust the people burying your best friend that they made sure she was actually dead first: Because no one checked with Ali, apparently. When Spencer and Aria finally read the autopsy result it basically reads "she was hit with the hockey stick, duhhh" and "p.s., she was still breathing when she was buried." I mean, that was just paraphrasing the medical terminology that Spencer totally gets because she was "premed in preschool." The only problem: one of the pages from the report went missing. Wonder what's on page five. 

And perhaps, most importantly...

Don't trust that every dead body in the morgue is actually dead: Some people might sneak into the morgue for some oreo cookies. I'm guessing A snuck in for a certain page of Ali's autopsy results. When a sheet-covered corpse sits up in the episode's final moments, it's clear that someone doesn't want anyone to find out certain details about Alison's death. 

Will the girls ever get to the bottom of this? Will A ever strike with the boots of doom? Only time will tell. In the mean time ... trust no one.

(Image courtesy of ABC Family)