'Pretty Little Liars' Fan Columnist: Wanted Dead or Alive
'Pretty Little Liars' Fan Columnist: Wanted Dead or Alive
Jen Abidor
Jen Abidor
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
The ending of last week's episode of Pretty Little Liars made me drunk. It was like I drank some toxic cocktail consisting of two parts OMG and five parts WTF. For the next six days I suffered from the worst metaphorical hangover ever. The only antidote? More Pretty Little Liars. Last night my hangover vanished, only to be replaced by another one ... "The Homecoming Hangover". 

As predicted last week, Emily is alive and well and Toby is most certainly not A (well, maybe it isn't certain ... but just look into that boy's eyes. He's totally innocent!) After their chemistry lab throw down, Toby took Em to the hospital and took off on his motorcycle. In fact, there's a very good chance that Toby is that 7988th citizen of Rosewood that is no longer. His motorcycle was found totaled as his step-sister/lover wept from her allegedly blind peepers. Much like Jenna, we are left in the dark about whether or not Toby's alive, but it's not looking too good.

The girls butt heads over what to do with Toby's infamous file. Hanna wants it destroyed while Spencer thinks it is valuable evidence. Aria, fed up with this second feuding couple in her life, makes the decision for them and tosses the file into the river. The papers float at the surface, a move that made me cringe in anticipation of the episode's final moment: a gloved hand gets a hold of the soggy-but-legible files. 

Homecoming didn't only threaten Emily and Toby's actual lives, but also messed with the liars' love lives. They used to be love drunk, but now they're hung-over:

Hanna: Sean is not pleased with his homecoming Queen. If only Hanna could explain the whole "someone is stalking us, ruining our lives and probably murdered our best friend" thing. But, alas, Sean believes that Hanna was just a crummy date for no good reason.

Hanna doesn't seem too shaken up, especially since she has Lucas' shoulder to cry on. Lucas has a schoolboy infatuation with Hanna, and she might just return the feelings. She's been wooed with videos of animals doing crazy things. Hanna clearly begins to rethink her feelings for Sean, especially when he's disinterested in watching a turkey snowboard (I think I'm Team Sean on that one.)

Emily: Maya or Toby? The decision appears to be a no-brainer; two can't keep a relationship if one of them is dead. But, Emily's been into Maya all along, and she's finally admitting it to herself and to Maya. Admitting it to Mr. and Mrs. Military will be a whole different ball game. Mom is extremely overbearing and extremely clueless, and from the looks of it she doesn't seem too tolerant.

After the whole homecoming incident, Emily had a special visitor: Jenna. Jenna is concerned about Toby and his missing file, and comes to Emily to get the file back. I think that Emily knows in her heart that Toby is innocent. For the first time, Jenna kind of acts like a human. It's nice to see, but let's hope it lasts. Emily claims the file is gone, but little does she know...

Spencer: After homecoming, Spencer has some serious making up to do with her new beau Alex. Not only did she abandon him for most of the night (with good reason), but her sister convinced him that Spencer is only dating him to piss off her dad.

After some begging and explaining, Alex forgives Spencer. She proposes a do-over date, which ultimately occurs in the kitchen at the club. When everything is going well, Spencer finds defiled photos of the club's members--including a picture of Spencer with horns drawn on it. Though she's peeved at first, the couple literally kisses and makes up ... and gives us an extremely hot makeout session.

Aria: This week Byron is finally moving out of the house, a move that has all of the Montgomery's feeling blue. Well, until we found out Ella is the one to leave. But, that's not the only thing bringing Aria down.

Ezra is nowhere to be seen. He's been replaced with a substitute--none other than the brilliant mind behind the original book series, Sara Shepard. Aria is concerned, which only kind of excuses her "break in" at his apartment. There she overhears a voicemail indicating that Ezra is applying to teach elsewhere. She's upset, but I'm confused. Isn't this good news?

Aria's brother, Mike, isn't doing too well either. He's caught fighting in school, supposedly in response to his parent's issues. But, it seems like it has something to do with Aria, and there's something Mike isn't saying. Hopefully we'll find out soon.

Texts from Beyond:

Inbox (1)

As Spencer points out, since homecoming the girls have had no messages from A, a fact that corroborates the idea that Toby is our guy. But, it looks like Spencer was barking up the wrong tree.

"Thanks for getting Toby out of the way" -A.

Could it be Toby pretending not to be Toby? I suppose anything is possible. But if not, the question is--why does A want Toby out of the way?

Burning Questions/Secrets:

(Juice Factor: 1-5)

-What secret did Alison share with Jenna at the Hospital? Juice Factor: 3. There are so many secrets by now, that I can hardly think about this one for now. But, this might become important soon.

-Why did Mike really fight that kid? Juice Factor: 4. I'm wondering what happened, and if it had to do with Aria... and possibly Ezra? 

-IS TOBY ALIVE? Juice Factor: 5. Well, is he???

(Image courtesy of ABC Family)