One Tree Hill

Previously on One Tree Hill:  We were treated to a number of flashbacks, all of which led us to discover that Lucas still has a thing for Peyton.  Nathan and Haley hired a hot nanny named Carrie, who was becoming a little bit too motherly to their son, Jamie.  Mouth (Lee Norris) was still having an affair with his boss, who is totally evil and obnoxious, but apparently "hot" if you're desperate enough.  Haley was still trying to save the soul of a young student named Quentin despite his cocky attitude, and Brooke's mom Victoria was successfully making her daughter feel like a loser.

On tonight's episode, nanny Carrie kicks it up a notch and starts using the powers of bikinis and water fights to attempt to woo Nathan.  Will he fall for it?

As the episode kicks off, Jamie is having nightmares about Grandpa Dan (Paul Johansson) being a vampire.  Seriously, he has fangs and everything!  Thanks to Skills, Jamie knows that Dan is in prison and not dead as Nathan tried to teach him.  I'd love this show if Dan escaped from prison and actually became a vampire, then we learned that Jamie has psychic powers and the ability to predict the future.  That probably won't happen though.

Peyton is visiting her old house and meets a girl named Molly who currently lives there.  Molly knows that Peyton and Lucas used to be an item thanks to a carving that Peyton made in the closet door.  Molly seems kind of nosy.

At the music studio, Mia is playing her tunes for Victoria and Haley.  Believe it or not, Victoria is being a crazy beeyotch, but that's because it's the only personality trait she has.  After Mia sings a few notes, Victoria tells her that she sucks and that the whole enterprise is a huge waste of money.  Apparently Brooke (Sophia Bush) isn't allowed to throw cash around like it's candy anymore.

Peyton arrives later to find Haley and Lindsey hanging out, and she's immediately threatened by Lindsey's presence.  Awkwardly, Lindsey hears Peyton talking smack about her thanks to a flipped switch in the control booth.  Whoops.  Lindsey shouldn't be surprised though, considering that Peyton has been acting insane around her for weeks now.

Mouth's co-workers, who are all somehow dumpier looking than he is, want him to talk to his boss about the fact that she's a tyrannical bitch.  After going to Clothes Over Bro's to buy her a gift he attempts to talk to her, but she has no interest in being kind and considerate to her underlings.  That's a shocker.

At the Naley house, Nathan (James Lafferty) is doing some rehab exercises in the pool.  Jamie jumps in and is followed by nanny Carrie, who yanks off her tasteful bathrobe to reveal a scandalous two-piece bikini.  She hops in the pool and gets in a splash fight with Nathan while Haley looks on angrily.  Ah Carrie, you are quite the devious little. . .what's the word?  Rhymes with mutt?  I can't remember.

The next morning, Haley wakes up from a dream that featured such highlights as Carrie and Nathan making out, and Jamie calling Carrie his "other mommy."  When Haley goes downstairs and runs into the evil nanny, she asks her not to wear a bikini in the pool because Jamie is too young to comprehend breasts.

Victoria and Brooke are having lunch, and Victoria is once again trying to advise Brooke on how to spend her cash.  Brooke eventually gets her to promise that she won't mettle with Peyton's record label, but she says that she'll still harangue Brooke about anything else that comes up.  I'm so happy she's not my mom.

After a rousing game of Guitar Hero, Jamie is trying to get more info about Dan out of Skills.  He decides to tell him that Dan went to prison because he didn't clean his room, which is pretty funny.  A messy room, murdering his brother, what's the difference?

Lucas (Chad Michael Murray) wants to know why Peyton was talking smack about Lindsey, and Peyton explains that she's stressed out for a million different reasons.  Surprisingly, not one of them is related to a bamboo plant this time.  She tells Lucas to go back home to his girlfriend, and he mopes away with his unfortunately flat hair.

At the school, Lucas and Haley (Bethany Joy Galeotti) are still trying to make us care about Quentin.  He comes in being all cocky and annoying, and Haley tells him that if he reads Les Miserables and writes some book reports, he'll be eligible to play basketball.  That's a rather torturous fate even for Quentin, at least in my opinion.  He says he'll think about it, and later Nathan stops by the court to shove some Victor Hugo down his throat again.  Nathan also points out that Quentin doesn't have a basketball team to call his own, so it's either read the doorstop or play with himself forever.

Victoria bursts into Clothes Over Bro's, pissed off that Brooke dared to make a conference call with Macy's. Brooke, shocked by this blatant insertion of product placement, is stunned speechless.  Peyton stands up for her, telling Victoria to stop tearing her daughter down.  Peyton gets some verbal licks in, but I think Victoria wins the war of words when she tells Peyton, "You look like you never had a mother."  Ouch.

In the third dream sequence of this episode, Lucas fantasizes that he's proposing to Lindsey.  Peyton shows up in the dream and tells her to say no.  I get that the title of this episode is "Don't Dream It's Over," but I'm starting to feel like I'm watching a really bad Nightmare on Elm Street movie.  When is Freddy going to show up to kill these people?

Mouth gets word that he's up for the reporter job, and his co-workers think it's because he stood up to his boss.  One of them decides to do the same thing by calling her a hag, but that just gets him fired.  Good job, goofy co-worker.

Nanny Carrie walks in on Nathan while he's struggling to put his pants on, and she kindly offers to help him. That Carrie is such the humanitarian, isn't she?  She sinks to her knees, yanks his pants up for him, and tells Nathan that Haley was worried about her wearing a bikini at the pool.  She's all flirty and trying to be seductive, but Nathan just looks kind of confused.

It's a good thing Nathan got his pants on, because Lucas and Lindsey are over for a family dinner.  Lindsey thinks that Peyton is a possessive shrew, and I kind of agree with her.  I know that Peyton is jealous and all, but if I were in Lindsey's stilettos I would want her to back off my man.  I don't think I'd fit in her stilettos though, so I really can't comment.

Jamie is still afraid of Vampire Dan, so Haley and Nathan have to explain that he went to jail for doing a very bad thing.  They're interrupted by the sudden appearance of Quentin, who came over to announce that he'll read Les Miserables if it means he can play basketball.  Oh boy, now we get more Quentin.  I can't wait.

At the bar, Peyton, Brooke, and Millicent are discussing the hotness of the bartender.  The girls get excited when he comes over to give Brooke her bill, and he gets his flirt on a bit with Brooke before leaving.  His name is Owen, and I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of him in the weeks to come.

Mia also shows up at the bar.  She wants to let Peyton know that she's not cut out for the recording thing. Peyton manages to soothe her nerves by getting her to admit to some inspirational hoo-ha about how music gives people hope and heals spirits and yada yada.  It's all very Dr. Phil, but it's enough to make Mia want to continue following her dream.

Speaking of dreams, Brooke falls asleep and has a lovely illusion that her mom is actually nice to her.  I can't believe I didn't call that as a dream immediately.  She wakes up and tries the same trick on her real mom, but instead of giving her a loving hug, Victoria responds with, "Whatever, you can lock up."  Brooke breaks down in tears.

Lucas goes to talk to Peyton (Hilarie Burton) about that whole possessive shrew issue that Lindsey pointed out.  She tells him about the closet etching she saw earlier, and starts complaining that they were supposed to be together forever.  She blames Lucas' proposal for breaking them apart.  She says that Lucas gave up on their relationship by not being willing to wait, but Lucas thinks it was the other way around.  Peyton admits that she cares so much for him that she buys An Unkindness of Ravens every single time she sees it in a bookstore.  She must have at least three copies by now!  Lucas storms out in anger while Lindsey looks on from the car outside.

As the episode comes to a close, Mouth is feeling worried about his career.  He tells his boss that he doesn't want to stay at her place that night, and she basically threatens to can him from the reporter job for being too sickly.  He says he's sure he'll be fine in the morning.  Brooke schedules an appointment on her own, despite her mother's wishes, and Nathan sees Carrie swimming topless in the pool.  A devious smile flashes on her face as Nathan looks on from the balcony.

Next week on One Tree Hill, the Lucas/Lindsey/Peyton love triangle really starts to get hot and heavy.  I'm crossing my fingers for a catfight!


- Don Williams, BuddyTV Staff Columnist
(Image courtesy of the CW)