Kid Nation

Previously on Kid Nation: DK worked hard, was the obvious Gold Star choice, then wanted to go home, but was talked into staying by Guylan. Mike adjusted fairly well to a powerless life, but Taylor…not so much. She upped her obnoxious level to 11, and earned the wrath of nearly every other inhabitant of Kid Nation. Once again, she vowed to “try,” though she doesn't seem to understand that word.

Tonight's episode begins with Divad finally making her presence known, and it's super genius.  She takes free food from the kitchen, prepares it, then resells it on the cheap.  The Town Council resents her free market style.  Equally upset is Jared, who tries to horn in on her snack shack action because he doesn't think it's fair that she has a monopoly.  He flips out and messes with her stuff, but she shrugs it off.

The Magic Journal talks about money, and it suggests that there's gold in them thar hills.  They get a treasure map to a fortune, though then they must decide how best to divide it.  Isn't that what the Gold Star ceremony is all about?  Laurel is afraid that the treasure will make everyone greedy.  As they head off, Anjay prays they don't wind up like the Donner party.  They go into a mine where they find a bat and their lamps die out.  They find a chest filled with 375 Buffalo nickels. the same as the total wages of all the kids.  They could just double everyone's salary but they fear the kids would waste it on soda and candy.  Is the lesson that people are sheep who can't think for themselves, so the government has to tell them what to do and how to spend their money?

As if to prove that this decision is actually the right one, back at camp, Sophia puts together Kid Nation: Fear Factor, placing 50 cents at the bottom of a pot filled with disgusting mush and tells everyone to dig for the money.  They do, and she is amused.  Dance, little kids, dance for Sophia, the puppet master!

The Town Council informs the kids of their decision to take the treasure, buy up a bunch of fun things from the store (baseball equipment, kites, guitars) and let the kids play with them.  The kids are pleased because they are, in fact, sheep.

Not falling in line is young Nathan, a home schooled kid who does laundry while everyone else has fun.  The home schooling is no surprise, because he's a little socially awkward (by a little, I mean a lot), and he might have a slight case of OCD based on how much he scrubs the laundry and dishes.  Later he has yet another feud with Greg (or so they say, since we've never seen Nathan before this episode).  It's an argument over Nathan cleaning too much and Greg cleaning too little, and Big Bad Greg makes little Nathan feel bad and almost want to go home.

Another Gold Star contender is someone named Pharaoh, who I've never seen before.  I guess that's the theme of this episode: introducing people we've never heard of since all the ones we have already have Gold Stars.

Kid Nation Showdown Time! Teams must slingshot golden eggs over a wall that will be caught on the other side by other team members holding a giant cushion.  Teams have 15 minutes to safely get as many as they can, and if the teams combine for four dozen, they win the reward.  Blue dominates, thanks to the fact that Anjay is obviously that kid in school who won the egg drop science experiment every year.  Yellow does fairly well too, thanks to Zach's hand signals and the fact that he's not Taylor.

Red has just five eggs.  Green, just six.  The yellow team has 18 eggs.  The blue team has 38.  Yes, those numbers are correct.  The blue team nearly octupled the red team and almost single-handedly won the reward.

The first choice for the reward is washers and dryers.  The kids are happy until they learn the cost: 20 cents a load.  The second choice is one new change of clothes for each kid, plus some old fashioned washers.  I bet the Town Council feel like idiots now, because they could've used that treasure to buy laundering service for everyone with those machines.  The Town Council goes for the new clothes, because kids love a quick fix.

Jared makes a bunch of necklaces for sale using a technique passed onto him through the generations.  They sell like hot cakes, and he makes $2.90.  Jared heads straight to the store, because "there's a bonfire in my pocket."  He goes mad with money, and next thing you know, we see him strutting down he streets of Bonanza City dressed like...well, I know this is a kid show, but he looks exactly like a pimp.  Feathered hat, cane, the strut.  I've always loved Jared, but tonight he goes above and beyond the call of duty as comic relief.  It's just about the funniest thing I've seen on TV all week, maybe all year.

At night, Greg apologizes to Nathan for being mean, and it's kind of sweet.  The next morning, kids come in and offer up nominations for the Gold Star.  There are lots of votes for Divad and Pharaoh.  Greg arrives and advocates Nathan, who may not be the coolest kid, but who does work hard.  They dismiss Divad as an opportunist, so it's down to the two guys.  Zach pulls for Pharaoh because he needs it more, while Anjay says Nathan has worked hard from day one, while Pharaoh only stepped it up once he learned about the Gold Star.  Laurel is on the fence, and she's young, but I'm calling her out.  She was one of the holdouts against Greg because she always thought he only worked for the money, and now there's proof that Pharaoh is only working hard for the money, yet he's still in consideration?

Kid Nation Town Hall Meeting!  Everyone approves of the Town Council and no one wans to go home.  The Gold Star goes to Nathan!  Aw, this one warms my heart, because he's a sweet little kid who's just a little bit different because of the home schooling factor.  As a fan of spelling bees, there's a special place in my heart for home schooled kids.  He overpronounces on the phone with his mom, who as his teacher, frequently gives him gold stars for good work.  He says he can use it for college, boarding school, or candy.

Next week on Kid Nation: a talent show!  I cannot wait to see what Jared does.


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of CBS)