'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' Recap: Don't I Know You?
'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' Recap: Don't I Know You?
Melissa is meeting a big VP of some record label, but while she's going over her options Kim D of Posche calls. Apparently she's been talking crap about Joe Gorga as a business man. That bitch. Anyway she's calling to invite Melissa to the Posche Fashion Show, where all the sh*t goes down all the time.

Meanwhile, the Giudice children "learn" Italian. Milania tells Teresa she needs to be quiet, and Gia takes over the class. Just in time for a visit from Kim D in a bad weave. Teresa says, "I love the Posche fashion show, we always have a good time," which is the perfect introduction to a clip of Posche Fashion Shows past.

The Manzo family is visiting Chris, Albie, and Lindsey-Albie's-girlfriend. They mad the most unhealthy meal possible, and Caroline rolls her eyes as Lauren grabs for some. Lauren announces that she signed her lease at Chateau so she can open her new "Caface," or whatever that terrible name for a beauty place is.

Kathy goes for a meeting at Bindi, to talk dessert. Kathy does a pretty good job with the presentation, but Rich is just foul-mouthed and far too casual. But somehow, Rich closes the deal and Kathy is going into business with Bindi.

Melissa meets with the label execs, and Joe does a much better job of pitching her than Rich did with Kathy's desserts. Melissa is ready to be a Star, which might be hindered by the fact that she's already a reality TV starlet.

Caroline and Jacqueline go to Posche to try on clothes for the fashion show. Kim D. offers to stir the pot a little more, with an excited look in her eye. A dark cloud is forming and Posche is at the eye of the storm.

All the young kids are going to the Giudice home for a playdate. It's fun because you go down the slide and get hit in the eye by a water cannon! Jacqueline acts weird, so Teresa yells, "COME HERE! HAVE SOME SALAD!" at her.

Meanwhile, at the future home of Caface! No.

Oh god, I almost forgot about Ashlee. I guess we have to wrap this up somehow. She's living in ... California? She left her stove on for three days. She also has a bad weave, and several new stupid tattoos. She ends the conversation with, "I'm an artist!"

THE DAY OF THE FASHION SHOW HAS ARRIVED. Melissa and Kathy talk about Kim D. while they have their makeup done. Melissa has decided to get over Kim's wrongs because Kim sort of apologized. Meanwhile, Kim and Teresa had their makeup done by Howie Mandel.

Howie Mandel mentions that he knows Melissa because she used to work for him "at uhhhh a little gentleman's club," and by "work" he means "dance." Teresa tells him to STFU but Kim D. is thrilled by the admission. Kim thinks they're still enemies, because she is not really friends with any of these people, so she talks about Melissa like "we all hate her, right?"

Teresa tells Angelo not to talk about it anymore, but Kim encourages him by asking more questions. What a bitch. Tired, old, raggedy-ass-weave bitch. On the way to the show, Kim acts like, "you never know what will happen!" but she knows, in her heart, that she is going to start trouble.

Everyone arrives, and the families seem to be getting along, but Kim flies into the conversation like a bat out of hell. Everyone sits down to enjoy some Cuban food, and things are still tense between Caroline and Teresa, but nobody is looking to start a fire.

Hahahaha "Pete Giudice." He looks almost identical to Joe. There are at least two neanderthals running around New Jersey.

Then, freaking Angelo/Howie Mandel walks up and is like, "Melissa! You remember me, right? Hi! It's me! Angelo!" all awkward. Melissa says she can't remember where she knows him from and Teresa is uncomfortable.


Let's see if someone's nasty old weave gets pulled off again.

(images courtesy of Bravo)

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