It's finally here, boys and girls! The last episode of Jersey Shore season 2, The Miami Chronicles.

The gang kicks off their last full day in Miami by deciding to take in some of Florida's wildlife in the Everglades. Or as Snooki puts it, "We're going to see the crocodillies!" Alligators, crocodiles, they all look the same behind little orange beer goggles. But much as Snooki can't tell the difference between gators and crocs, the gators can't tell the difference between these crispy, brown guidos and guidettes glistening with oil and some crispy, brown chicken also glistening with oil, as it attempts to eat them while on their boat tour. Unfortunately, evolution is not on the gator's side and its little legs aren't long enough to climb into the boat.

Never fear, there are still the gigantic insects of the Everglades to make the boys run and leap into the safety of a local eatery, which serves up the bounty of the Everglades, deep-fried for the Jersey Shore kids' enjoyment. Mike boldly goes where the rest of the gang won't and eats his weight in frog legs, which sends Jenni to the bathroom to vom. One vom for Jenni, one near-vom for me.

Before the bile has a chance to settle in my stomach, vom opportunity number two presents itself as Mike hops out of the Escalade to throw up said frog legs.

Back at the house, love is in the air as Pauly, Vinny and Ronnie all prep for their final dates with their ladies.

Vinny nuzzles up with Ramona at their cozy dinner date and promises to come see her as some emo rocker croons in the background. Ah, love. And emo.

Pauly meets the same emo soundtrack fate as he proclaims that he's not even going to try to smash Rocio before he leaves.

And then there's Sammi and Ronnie, who at their dinner date agree they can get through anything (hopefully that also means the reunion show) -- until Mr. Hyde comes out as Sammi picks a fight with Ronnie, and dinner ends on a sour note. No emo love songs for these two.

"It's our last date and we're fighting. What does that say?" asks Sammi. It says get the hell away from each other, Sammi. But no. As the roomies all party at Bed, Sammi and Ronnie continue their argument over the techno music and then make up after their non-fight. They'll live to fight another day.

Elsewhere in da club, two grenades proposition Vinny with a threesome. Thankfully, he draws on some infinite wisdom: "When you actually have a good girl out there, say no to hoes." So Mike jumps on where Vinny left off and has a threesome in a dirty bathroom stall. 

Later, during a dinner of tacos prepared by Snooki and sarcastic Sammi, Mike decides to stir the pot a bit by giving a "trophy" (there's no trophy) to Ronnie for cheating on Sammi and to the person who did the least in the house -- drumroll please -- it's Sammi! 

Then the gang decides to give out superlatives -- I'm guessing this was the producers' idea because I can't fathom any of them actually conjuring the word "superlatives." Most likely to get skin cancer -- Pauly! Most likely to be a follower -- Vinny (as per pot-stirrer Mike).

The fakest one in the house -- Mike, per Jenni -- though, she said it's not her that's saying it ... even though she's the one that said it. Then Snooki tells Jenni that Mike said she was the fakest in the house -- damn these superlatives! I knew such a big word would bring nothing but trouble to this group -- and that Pauly and Vinny nodded. THEY NODDED!! AHHH!! NOOOOO!!!

Jenni then tells Mike that Pauly was fake because Pauly said that Mike was fake at some point. Anyone else following this? Then Mike tells Pauly that ... oh, hell. Whatever. Anywho, back at the hot tub, Jenni and Pauly start yelling at each other and Pauly starts using the scary voice he used with Angelina back in the day. Snooki also pipes up with the occasional, "AHHH!" Pauly and Mike share a little bro love about how they're brothers, they'd never rat each other out, blah blah. Snooki's crying. Dear lord, is it over yet? Snooki then tells Jenni that it's all her fault -- all Jenni's fault -- for ruining her last night. I think we're overlooking the guy who really ruined the night, and perhaps their entire lives, and that man's name is Jose Cuervo. And perhaps Ed Hardy.

Little Snooki's head then explodes and the walls are covered in orange pieces of Snooki that they'll never be able to scrub out, and hence MTV will never get its deposit back on this house. Whoa! Sorry, I dozed off for a minute. That was just my own little reverie.

Mike then rubs Snooki's belly like a baby to try and calm her down, which actually seems to work. He then scoops up the little tyke, and speaking in soothing tones, brings her back in the living room with the gang.

Yay! It's finally morning -- the LAST morning -- eggs, then packing. Everyone grabs their bags, Snooki grabs her pickles. But do they leave without one more spate of drama? Hell no. OMG! Sammi didn't say goodbye to Jenni! STFU! WTF!

And then a crow comes along, signaling to Snooki that someone will soon die. Who could it be?!?! I think it's my interest in this episode.

Goodbye, Jersey Shore-ers. Let's hope that absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder. See you in January!

What did you think of the episode? Happy the kids are heading home?

(Image courtesy of MTV)