'House' Recap: Bloody Tears and Sex Dolls
'House' Recap: Bloody Tears and Sex Dolls
The concept of someone who cries tears of blood just creeps me totally out for some reason. Sex dolls pretty much do the same thing. Since tonight's main patient had both, it's safe to say that this wasn't my absolute favorite House episode because it was just a little too weird. Who wrote this - a writing team made up of Stephen King and Jackie Collins?

The best thing I can say about House this week is that it was still very watchable with its running theme of relationships, or more precisely, the lack thereof. Plus, I really wanted to know what in the heck caused the patient's bloody tears!

Cry Me a River ... of Blood

Tonight's featured patient, a bespectacled guy named Henry, goes on dates with a pretty, dark-haired girl. It's all carousels and teddy bears, but, alas, she has no love for the lovesick Henry and they go their separate ways. Henry soon starts crying bloody tears and ends up in the hospital.

No, He's Not a Vampire

I snort when House tells his gathered team that the patient with bleeding tears isn't a vampire. The team, especially Adams, starts suspecting that the girlfriend that the patient, Henry, keeps mentioning isn't real though, since she's never at the hospital or answers the phone.

When Chase and Adams investigate Henry's place, they do find a card addressed to the "Amy" Henry said was his girlfriend, so Adams figures she was wrong after all. Then, the body they find in Henry's bed turns out to be Amy, as Henry later admits, but it's not a human - it's a sex doll!

Love Lives

Interwoven through tonight's ultra-weird patient story, are snapshots of the medical team's own love relationships - well, their attempts to avoid them more like it. House is auditioning new hookers or wanting to keep old ones or who really knows with House.

Dominka and House seem to have developed feelings for each other, but then it all seems gone again. Even one of House's hookers tells him she sees the way House and Dominka look at each other and they should stay married. I'm not sure about that.

A red-headed, guitar-playing medical guy who works at the hospital asks out Park and she avoids this at first until Taub convinces her to go for it. Taub confides to Park that he doesn't look forward to one day explaining to his kids that he ruined his relationship with their mother. Adams asks Chase out after work, but he doesn't think it's a good idea. I don't either!

More Than Just Bloody Tears

The plastic, silent girlfriend doll, Amy, sits beside Henry's hospital bed in a chair. Yes, this looks creepy and what will the other patients and their visitors think? Henry sleeps and dreams that Amy is real, strips down and climbs into the bed with him. Her abdomen starts bleeding and bleeding and bleeding. The sheets are soaked in blood and I'm grossed out. Wake up already, Henry!

Gross and Grosser

House thinks that Henry may have an infection caused by germs built up in Amy. Don't worry, I'm not going to go into any graphic details here! Chase and Adams get the lovely job of examining Amy to make sure she's clean. Well, she is, but then Chase notices lumps under Any's plastic skin. They have to cut her, but do it as neatly as possible so as not to further upset Henry. Well, look on the bright side, Henry, she won't need anesthetic!

I'm a Little Tea Pot

The plastic skin lumps turn out not to be the cause of anything and Team House is totally stumped about Henry's condition. Then, it's Chase who puts the pieces together. First, the yoga instructor who Amy is modeled after drank dried herbal tea that looked weird and second, he and Adams had found a little tea pot in Henry's house.

It takes House to then realize that the pot is not exactly for tea, but a neti pot used for flushing out the nasal passages with water. Aha, that caused the problems and Henry gets better. That is great, but now I have to hear Park and her date playing guitars and singing Sonny and Cher very badly!

What did you think of House tonight?

Sheri Stirrs
Contributing Writer

(Image courtesy of FOX)