'House' Fan Columnist: No Karting, Please
'House' Fan Columnist: No Karting, Please
Lisa Palmer
Lisa Palmer
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
We all want to know how the story ends.  Either the people at House are getting really meta, or I'm reading way too much into their episodes.

Let's start with the positive. Amy Irving, as a suicidal, but brilliant author of a Twilight-esque series (Jack Cannon), was great in her role. Perfect, actually. House, as an avid reader, was terrific as a geeked out fanboy and definitely didn't hide his love for what most people consider rather embarrassing. However, the episode lost me a little on the go-kart track. I'm stuck with Wilson, crashed to the side while the race went on without me.

Two Sides to House

Alice Tanner's character was the strongest part of this episode, and it's no wonder.  She represents a side of House from about four seasons ago, or even House in "Help Me" before Cuddy came to the rescue.  She's dark, brilliant, reads people, and is completely unhappy and suicidal.  She's also not kind to strangers.  And she's in pain.  Usually House is trying to get rid of his patients, but this week, there's something at stake.  Not just the life of his patient (his alleged secondary concern), but the future of the patient's fictional protagonist, Jack Cannon.  It was surprising to see House be so candid with her about pain and happiness.  House is out of mental pain and he's functioning well with Cuddy by his side.  His future, like the future of his relationship with Cuddy is unwritten.  By the end of the episode, House is displaying irrefutable evidence that he does, in fact, care about people.  Hence, the "Shut up," on his way past Cuddy to the elevator.  God forbid people knowing House does care about his patients.    

Familiar Patients

Because House now has such a large catalog of episodes, each episode from here on out will most likely remind you of one from before. So was the case in last night's episode. Amy Tanner's character represents the dark side of House, much like the patient in season 5's "Painless," where a man like House, down to the same scruff, wanted to commit suicide because he was in pain all the time. Once his physical pain was gone, his mental state improved. Same with Tanner. Alice also worked as a direct opposite to a POTW in season four's "No More Mr. Nice Guy." In that episode, the POTW was someone that was too nice, which inevitably led to House realizing it wasn't normal to be that nice. 

Alice Tanner provided the opposing world view. The new House is lighter, happier and not in mental anguish. His attitude toward the patient was almost unnerving to me. He usually doesn't expose himself to that extent to anyone, which worries me. House is testing the waters with his more open heart, and it's doubtful he'll escape unscathed.

Go-Kart = No Cart

Every week, we put our trust into the writers, actors, producers, crew and editors to make House what it is. And I ask, why did we need the go-kart scene? I was looking forward to it, and all it did was make me cringe to the point of looking away from the screen. It was poorly written, corny and over the top. The lines that each actor spoke felt like lines, which is not typical for an episode of House. Was that the only way House could have connected the dots to a car accident for Alice? Doubtful. Granted, it was an attempt to show that House's overtures with Cuddy are childish, yet charming, but there are more ways it could have been executed and this scene was seriously lacking. I did like that Wilson was eliminated first.   

Happily Ever After?

Something felt off about this episode. And it's strange, because usually I can pinpoint what might have been wrong, but something in "Unwritten" fell flat. Perhaps House needs to remain "extreme" in some capacity. During "Selfish," I wondered if the people over at House were attempting to demonstrate how the viewers felt about House and Huddy through the team's eyes: "in favor, indignant, and indifferent." This week, are the writers trying to comment on the state of the series or just House's own journey in regard to an unwritten future? Are they attempting to let us down gently? What if this episode is a commentary on the end of House? If House ends on a cliffhanger, there will be no end to my fury.

What do you think? Can House and Cuddy make it?>>

As House says, "Everybody lies." And everybody lies for a reason. House's reason starts with "C" and ends with "uddy." By the end of the episode, House and Alice realize they are in control of their own unwritten futures. Cuddy is the reason behind House's happiness, and he's going to take a cue from Tanner and enjoy it instead of attempting to see all the way down the line. Although if J.K. Rowling had left Harry Potter as a cliffhanger, I would still be furious. 


1.  House wearing glasses automatically makes this episode better.
2.  Cuddy had 20 wardrobe changes in this episode. Not one was even remotely work appropriate. Not even work appropriate for a fictional hot dean of medicine. Her happiness with House must have a direct influence on her lack of clothing. That said, she's gorgeous.
3.  Love House as Chase's wing-man.
4.  Amy Irving's reading of Chase and Taub was spot-on. 
5.  Was the pacing different in this episode? Something felt bizarre.
6.  I miss Thirteen.
7.  Did I mention how much I hated the go-karts? I did, however, love that Sam and House bonded over their mutual love of Jack Cannon.
8.  House and Cuddy's uncommon relationship and conversation about said un-commonalities worked for me.
9.  Does Hugh Laurie look younger to anyone else? 

Crossing my fingers for a more steady episode minus gratuitous go-karts in next week's "Massage Therapy."   

(Image courtesy of FOX)