'Gossip Girl' Recap: Dating Fatwas and Daddy Issues
'Gossip Girl' Recap: Dating Fatwas and Daddy Issues
Glenn Diaz
Glenn Diaz
Staff Writer, BuddyTV
Tonight on Gossip Girl, Chuck (Ed Westwick) and Blair (Leighton Meester) try to outdo each other, Serena (Blake Lively) is careless, Jenny (Taylor Momsen) is a horrible human being and Dan (Penn Badgley) and Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) fight over a spot in a highly competitive program. OK, that sentence just explained the whole Gossip Girl universe.

Little J is, you know, evil
Little J spent the night at Nate's and they're getting waffles and she's walking around in his shirt. Everything seems to be up to Jenny's liking ... until Nate gives her the old brotherly/sisterly head-rub. Poor J cannot be more annoyed at the whole thing.

gg-jenny-nate-serena.JPGGood thing Blair-less Chuck is dispensing how-to-steal-Nate advice, and Little J is only too happy to follow orders. She takes Nate's shirt and hangs it ever-so-conspicuously in her bag for S to see, which she does. Jenny tells her that she and Nate "were just hanging out" and they just "totally lost track of time," which, as we all know, is code for "I hooked up with your boyfriend and I'm totally lying right now."

Jenny's plan--or Chuck's, really--culminates in the little Brooklyn party, where Chuck wisely predicted that Serena's passive-aggressiveness would push Nate straight into Jenny's arms. True enough, Nate feels rejected and tells Little J and Chuck to ditch the party and "just get hammered" in his place. Jenny tries to kiss him, and Serena comes in right at the moment ... and S and N make up in the end as Jenny's devil horns are exposed.

The Big Cgg-billy-baldwin-serena.JPG
Lily (Kelly Rutherford) and Serena are supposed to get home first to explain everything to Rufus (Matthew Settle), but alas, Serena's dad William (and his Chuck Bass voice) gets there first. The conflict, however, is, in total repudiation of all things Gossip Girl, hastily resolved: apparently, Lily has a "very treatable" cancer and William had been treating her, which explains all the secrecy.

S meets with her father, who tells her he was caught in the civil war in Congo and that he still thinks Serena eats sweets (crazy). He also admits that there's a "chasm" in between them now, but that's okay, sort of, because he didn't just intentionally leave her.

Lily is not in the clear yet, because the results of some tests aren't very pleasant, which means one thing: William is staying put for two more episodes to complete his arc--err, cure the cancer. The revelation that the relapse is just a ploy for something dastardly was hardly surprising.

gg-chuck-3.19.JPGOff to feed the ducks
Finally: because none of the eligible bachelors she invited to her rebound brunch came, Blair believes that Chuck has issued a dating fatwa on her, which turns out to be right. At the Brooklyn party, she sets her sight on some Columbia dude in an effort to make Chuck jealous and get to Gossip Girl (the site), thereby removing the fatwa.

But no dice - even Gossip Girl is no match for the powers of Chuck Bass. This plan backfires, because Blair realizes that denial is not the way to forget Chuck Bass. Instead, it's admitting that he will always be a part of her, embracing it and then genuinely try to move on by feeding ducks in the park. You know, what most people do after a breakup.

So in the end: a lot of developments, really. Little J's evil ways are out in the open, Lily has/had cancer, and the ongoing saga of "Will Chuck and Blair Reunite?" continues.

(Image courtesy of the CW)