Tonight on Gossip Girl, Chuck (Ed Westwick) and Blair (Leighton Meester) try to outdo each other, Serena (Blake Lively) is careless, Jenny (Taylor Momsen) is a horrible human being and Dan (Penn Badgley) and Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) fight over a spot in a highly competitive program. OK, that sentence just explained the whole Gossip Girl universe.
Little J is, you know, evil
Little J spent the night at Nate's and they're getting waffles and she's
walking around in his shirt. Everything seems to be up to Jenny's
liking ... until Nate gives her the old brotherly/sisterly head-rub.
Poor J cannot be more annoyed at the whole thing.
Blair-less Chuck is dispensing how-to-steal-Nate advice, and Little J is
only too happy to follow orders. She takes Nate's shirt and hangs it
ever-so-conspicuously in her bag for S to see, which she does. Jenny
tells her that she and Nate "were just hanging out" and they just
"totally lost track of time," which, as we all know, is code for "I
hooked up with your boyfriend and I'm totally lying right now."
Jenny's plan--or Chuck's, really--culminates in the little Brooklyn
party, where Chuck wisely predicted that Serena's passive-aggressiveness
would push Nate straight into Jenny's arms. True enough, Nate feels
rejected and tells Little J and Chuck to ditch the party and "just get
hammered" in his place. Jenny tries to kiss him, and Serena comes in
right at the moment ... and S and N make up in the end as Jenny's devil
horns are exposed.The Big C
Lily (Kelly Rutherford) and Serena are
supposed to get home first to explain everything to Rufus (Matthew
Settle), but alas, Serena's dad William (and his Chuck Bass voice) gets
there first. The conflict, however, is, in total repudiation of all
things Gossip Girl, hastily resolved: apparently, Lily has a "very
treatable" cancer and William had been treating her, which explains all
S meets with her father, who tells her he was caught
in the civil war in Congo and that he still thinks Serena eats sweets
(crazy). He also admits that there's a "chasm" in between them now, but
that's okay, sort of, because he didn't just intentionally leave her.
Lily is not in the clear yet, because the results of some tests aren't
very pleasant, which means one thing: William is staying put for two
more episodes to complete his arc--err, cure the cancer. The revelation
that the relapse is just a ploy for something dastardly was hardly
surprising.Off to feed the ducks
Finally: because none of the eligible bachelors she
invited to her rebound brunch came, Blair believes that Chuck has issued
a dating fatwa on her, which turns out to be right. At the Brooklyn
party, she sets her sight on some Columbia dude in an effort to make
Chuck jealous and get to Gossip Girl (the site), thereby removing the
But no dice - even Gossip Girl is no match for the powers of Chuck Bass.
This plan backfires, because Blair realizes that denial is not the way
to forget Chuck Bass. Instead, it's admitting that he will always be a
part of her, embracing it and then genuinely try to move on by feeding
ducks in the park. You know, what most people do after a breakup.
in the end: a lot of developments, really. Little J's evil ways are out
in the open, Lily has/had cancer, and the ongoing saga of "Will Chuck
and Blair Reunite?" continues.
(Image courtesy of the CW)