Last night's Gossip Girl
finale was just full of stuff!
First, the eternal question: who is Gossip Girl? (The answer: Everyone. Meaning no one. Or Kristen Bell. Question solved, except not at all.) And: Chuck and Blair got together! Serena is insecure, Dan is magically cool, and Nelly Yuki is drunk! Rufus and Lily are engaged! Eric and Jonathan are a technologically savvy, gay crime-fighting duo! Georgina killed Poppy! (Maybe.)
After all that went down, we have some burning questions to mull over this summer, when some of us will be taking whirlwind tours of Europe and others of us will be busy contemplating the piles of broken dreams that are our lives. (You know, the usual.) So, here are the five big quandaries plaguing us like a rumormonger on a reputation-murderous rampage:
1. Who the hell
does Serena think she is, throwing away her mortarboard and wearing her tassel in her hair
at graduation? Ugh.
Okay, that's not really #1. But I really, really want to know.
1. What will happen to Chuck and Blair?
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Well, it finally happened. Blair said the three little words again, and Chuck finally said them back. About twenty times. And he smiled a real smile, and kissed and hugged her in public. He was (dare I say it?) enthusiastic.
He was happy.
So... what now? Will the Gossip Girl writers let Blair and Chuck be happy together, and if so, for how long? Will they be like Serena and Dan (and Rufus and Lily) and break up in the face of any obstacle, or will they actually get the storyline space to grow as a couple and explore what that means before the writers rip them apart for a quick fix of drama and interest? 2. Who/what/why is Serena's father?
Where did this come from? Apparently Serena was looking for her father in Santorini forever ago with Carter Baizen, and Carter (because he holds eternal love for idiot-head in his heart, even though three weeks ago he was banging Blair) used his monies (which Serena also has a bajillion of, and so could have done this a long time ago, if she really wanted) to hire a detective, and found Deadbeat Daddy-O in Figi. And now they're off on a whirlwind adventure in which they will answer geography questions to determine the exact location of the zany villain and his wacky crooks! Oh wait, that's "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?" But I fear I'd rather be watching that show than this one, because too little, too late in the game for Papa VDW. Because who really cares about Serena's dad? Seriously. I'd like to know if anyone cares, because I don't. Send Serena to college, and let her keep being a moron in the face of impending adulthood. She's a little past fatherly guidance at this point.3. What is Lovechild's endgame?
Rufus and Lily's child, whom she gave up for adoption (also forever ago--this show is developing the timeline of a long-running soap opera without actually having experienced it) is in New York cozying up to Dan, who is none the wiser about the kid's identity. But this kid certainly knows who the Humphreys are, and he also has a picture of Lily. So what's he after? Family? Money? A personal quest to "find himself"? Let's just hope the resolution to this plotline isn't another "vanished as quickly as he appeared" scenario.4. What should we expect from Carter and Georgina next season?
Carter Baizen just keeps popping up and making himself important, now doesn't he? Well, maybe not important, but he's certainly around a lot lately, especially when our leading ladies need a well-endowed but not so well-mannered accomplice in their wicked schemes. But at a certain point, Carter Baizen, as a character, needs to be filled in or thrown out. Right now he's as much a plot device as Gossip Girl herself, swooping in to create and solve problems when the plot gets stale. And yet he's right there in the middle of on of our cliffhangers, like just Georgina Sparks. Michelle Trachetenberg's obligations to her new NBC series Mercy
next season which surely will keep her from being Blair's roommate forever--or even for more than a week. So, if we can't have a full dose of Georgie, do we even want her at all?5. How will Gossip Girl cover all its bases?
So: Nate's going to Columbia; Blair, Dan, and Vanessa are going to NYU; Serena is going to Brown; Chuck is going to the Bass Business Academy for Boy-Kings. How will the show's plots and pacing work when all of our characters are so dispersed? It's a big enough problem to figure out how to keep Serena from becoming irrelevant (her biggest fear!) way out in Providence, Rhode Island, but what about Little J and Eric, who will still be in high school? Will Serena spend every weekend in New York, or will she never even make it to Brown? If she does actually attend college: will she set up her own social circle in Providence, or spend every minute outside of class texting Blair? Will Chuck become that creepy guy at NYU parties who doesn't go to the school but knows everyone there? What about Nate--now that he and Blair broke up, what is keeping him from holing up at Columbia and never reemerging? Oh yeah, Vanessa. If she counts as a reason (survey says no).
Based on past trends (namely Dan Humphrey's superhuman ability to get from Brooklyn to Manhattan and back before breakfast), don't expect geographical or chronological realism to become factors. But we should (as in, we deserve to) expect a little cultural realism here. Meaning Gossip Girl should not do what other, lesser series have done before it, and pretend as though young adults in their freshman year at college (even located in the same metropolis as their families) spend all their spare time going to family brunches and consulting their little brothers about high school problems. Because if even Gossip Girl herself is coming along to college, we all deserve to really
go to college on the show. Which means even more drugs, sex, stress, and drama than before. And very few visits home on Sunday afternoons. Those are reserved for hangovers.
So, how will the show (and Gossip Girl herself) ultimately splits its attentions?-Meghan Carlson, BuddyTV Staff WriterImage courtesy of the CWWant more Gossip Girl?
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