Last time we saw our beloved New Yorkers they were formulating plans for winter break -- and surprisingly, not much has changed since they rang in the new year. Although that doesn't mean there aren't scandals to be had now that everyone's back in town.
In "The Kids Are Not Alright," we find out exactly what everyone's been up to -- and the havoc they plan on wreaking this
Last night's theme seemed to be about new beginnings, and even the show proved itself in that regard. Usually after a long break, the characters would have traded sex partners several times and be in the arms of some stranger by now. But as it turns out, Blair and Dan only watched one movie together after all that time! In slightly less-lackluster news, Blair's finally decided who she wants to intern for, and it's none other than the "Sixth Most Powerful Woman In the World," Indra Nooyi. Blair accepts an internship under her mother in order to get closer to Indra, who happens to be one of Eleanor's clients. However, once Blair attempts to double-cross Eleanor to suit her own agenda, she's fired before she can even say "powerful" again.
Revenge I Seek
Chuck returns to the city looking as determined as ever, with two girls on one hand and his phone in the other. As it turns out, rape-y Uncle Jack was nowhere to be found in New Zealand, therefore Chuck will have to exact his revenge on Lily himself ... that is, until Serena steps into the ring. In order to prevent his company from being sold, Chuck uses good old thievery to gain access to Lily's safety deposit box. There, he and Serena find the incriminating affidavit. Lily almost manages to win Chuck's approval by hypnotizing him with her earrings, but he snaps out of it when he discovers that she intends to sell Bass Industries to Russell Thorpe (former family enemy).
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I Guess I Showed Her
Serena and Dan schedule and reschedule dates all over the place, but in the end she picks her vendetta against Lily over Dan, her stepbrother and on-again-off-again boyfriend. What a choice! Dan decides that he's been placed second on Serena's list one too many times, so before she can give the forged affidavit to a journalist, he steals it from her and replaces it with his rÃ©sumÃ©, thwarting her scheme. When he returns to Serena later, the two apologize for their actions, but ultimately decide to remain apart ... as long as they can still try again in the future. Talk about closure! Serena and her mother make amends after Lily teaches her a few things about concepts like law and consequences.
Welcome to the Working Week
Nate's worried up to his man-bangs about his father, who might get sent back to prison if he doesn't get a job. Captain Archibald couldn't be more carefree, however, as he plays Wii all day and flirts with everyone in sight. Nate eventually confesses that he's fed up with the Captain's escapades, only to learn that the he got a job after all. With who? The devious Russell Thorpe, of course! The man who's about to turn Bass Industries into dust.
Here's Your Future
After confiding in Dan, Blair apologizes to her mother, who encourages her to pursue a career as a fashion magazine editor. Blair and Dan then go to the movies together, looking awfully smitten. Meanwhile, Serena and Ben share a giddy reunion at the bus stop outside of jail once he's released, thanks to Lily -- who, by the way, slept with Russell Thorpe years ago. And speaking of Mr. Thorpe, his daughter pays Chuck a visit for a quick reenactment of Sleeping With the Enemy
... Happy new year?
(Image courtesy of The CW)