'Gossip Girl' Fan Columnist: The City Is at War
'Gossip Girl' Fan Columnist: The City Is at War
Matthew Mendoza
Matthew Mendoza
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV

Who can tell a massive lie and get away with it? Apparently everyone in Manhattan besides Blair Waldorf. Betrayal transpired left and right in "Touch of Eva," and while some of our favorite New Yorkers managed to escape consequences, others were certainly less fortunate.

Everything juicy went down at some charity event Chuck was throwing, in which he's supposed to announce which charity he's going to support(?). I'm not sure, let's just call it this week's Climactic Cocktail Party.

This City Is Contagious


Gossip Girl opens with a lovely montage of Chuck, his new life-changing girlfriend, Eva, and their charitable feats plastered all over news columns. Their picture-perfect love life will last forever, right? Wrong. Because Blair is determined to get the dirt on seemingly-flawless Eva. And what she finds (with the help of live-in best friend Serena and sometimes-ally Dan) should be enough to send Eva packing, right? Wrong again. Apparently Eva being a former prostitute doesn't faze Mr. Bass in the least. So instead of kicking her to the curb, he gives her $5 million. Then, at his charity event, he announces that Eva's the only woman who fell in love with him without even knowing about his wealth or social status, and that fact has made him the perpetually-grinning philanthropist he is now. Well that's true love.

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Should I Stay or Should I Go?


Dan, who apparently hates opening up to Vanessa, opens up to Serena instead. This is obviously the time where Juliet must butt in and offer her sage advice to all the people who barely know her. Juliet tells Vanessa that she has to confront Serena and find out what's really going on. Vanessa confronts Dan instead and essentially tells him that Serena will never love him the way she does. So Dan chooses Vanessa -- even though we all thought he already did that in the first episode of the season -- and the two kiss and make up.

Meanwhile, Nate suspects Juliet of seeing other people because of her enigmatic behavior, but she insists she's only been aloof because her brother, Ben, tries to ruin all her relationships. So Nate forgives her, and they make up as well (she takes him to an apartment that isn't hers so they can christen strangers' bed sheets). This leads Serena to conclude that she'll always love Dan and Nate equally, but that she should find someone new, who's a mixture of them both.


The Funeral of Hearts


Blair realizes that revealing the truth about Eva isn't enough to turn Chuck against her, so she decides to reveal a lie instead. Taking Chuck's passport, Blair plants it inside Eva's suitcase and tells Chuck that the blonde's had it all along -- that Eva has known who he is and that she's after his money. Chuck finally proceeds to kick Eva to the curb, until Lily shows up and conveniently tells him that his passport had been sent by the coroner weeks ago. Chuck attempts to apologize to Eva, who says that he and Blair still have a connection. So she leaves town anyway, leading a furious and broken-hearted Chuck to declare all-out war against Blair herself.

(Image courtesy of the CW)