It's perfectly understandable if you don't remember anything that happened last season on Dirty Sexy Money
. The soapy ABC series hasn't been on the air since December of last year, so tonight's season 2 premiere has to reintroduce the Darlings all over again. When we last left the family who put the "fun" in dysfunction, Lisa lost her job at the gallery after a dalliance with Jeremy, Brian was suspended from the ministry and went to work for his father, Carmelita disappeared under mysterious circumstances, and Nick found out that Karen is sleeping with Simon Elder.
On tonight's episode of Dirty Sexy Money
, an important character kicks the bucket, and Lucy Liu joins the series as the dirty and sexy Nola Lyons.
Welcome to the ridiculously extravagant birthday party of Nick George (Peter Krause
), which could only be thrown by the Darlings. The gang gathers on a huge yacht, where each of the characters remind us what happened last season. Lisa arrives at the bash just in time to hear Tripp's toast to the birthday boy, where he hands him the keys to the ginormous yacht. I'd rather take the cash equivalent, but Nick is happy to accept the gift. A helicopter full of cops crashes the party a moment later, and Patrick demands to know what Nick has done.
48 hours earlier. Nick tells Lisa (Zoe McLellan
) about his upcoming shindig, then heads to work to mediate the arguing between Patrick and Tripp. Tripp is pissed that his son's wife, Ellen, keeps showing up drunk to campaign meetings in an effort to drown out the Carmelita scandal. Patrick retorts by informing his father he wants him out of his life forever.
Jeremy (Seth Gabel
) shows up to surprise Lisa and immediately reminds her of the kiss they shared six months ago. She's not up for reliving that particular memory, so she tells him to skedaddle. Over at Simon Elder's fancy apartment, Karen goes through his phone after distracting him with some hot sex. He tells her he loves her, to which she responds, "Thank you. I think you're really neat too."
After she's done sexing Simon, Karen (Natalie Zea
) heads to Nick's office and strips completely naked the instant he walks in. Apparently, his birthday present is her birthday suit. She's grossed out by Simon's lovey-dovey admission, but Nick has no interest in helping her ruin her romance.
Brian's ex-girlfriend and young son have come to visit from Brazil. They were supposed to stay one week, but he's screwed with their visas and forced them to stay longer than expected. Tripp (Donald Sutherland
) interrupts their gathering to ask Brian to counsel Patrick's wife. He's far too mean to care about helping anyone, so that's not going to happen.
Patrick (William Baldwin
) still can't find Carmelita, nor can the detective he's hired. It's hard to blame Patrick for being distraught, especially since his wife spends most of her time drinking and calling him a pervert. Jeremy also runs to the booze after being rebuffed by Lisa, and he just happens to run into Lucy Liu, aka Nola Lyons, in a bar. She advises him not to take no for an answer when it comes to the woman he wants.
While Patrick showers, his wife looks at the file about Carmelita and goes completely crazy. She smashes the shower door with a fire poker, claims she had Carmelita "taken care of," then slips, bashes her head on the sink and dies. Patrick immediately calls Tripp for help, and it's not long before he and Nick arrive to assess the damage. Nick wants to call the police, but Tripp suggests he move the body and stage an accident to save Patrick's chances of winning the election. Nick isn't up for such morally questionable shenanigans, so he bows out and leaves the problem for the Darlings.
While her husband is off thinking up ways to explain dead bodies, Lisa sits alone at a nearby restaurant. Jeremy surprises her by dropping in to join her, and two bottles of champagne later he's planting his lips on her again. She slaps him and claims she never wants to kiss him again, then promptly makes out with him a moment later. Of course, Nick happens to walk by and see the the scandalous display, then promptly flees in a cab to avoid the confrontation.
When Karen meets up with Simon (Blair Underwood
) that night, he reveals that he's aware she's been playing him and stealing his secrets. He also gives her a vile of a clean burning, non-toxic fuel that he's planning to introduce to the world in six months. He tells her to give the vial to Tripp, which should appease him for at least a little while.
Between the dead body and his wife's indiscretion, this may be Nick's worst day on the job ever. He hangs out at his office and downs champagne with Karen to wash away his problems. They nearly fall into a make-out session, but the fact that he's drunk and she's thinking about Simon kills the mood. Over at the Darling mansion, Brian (Glenn Fitzgerald
) gets angry after discovering that his ex and son have fled back to Brazil. He knows Tripp must have helped them get their visas in order.
Nick meets with Tripp the next morning, where he learns that the eldest Darling has arranged to cover up the true cause of Ellen's demise. After delivering a swift punch to Jeremy's face on his way out, Nick heads home to deal with his wife. She tells him that he's starting to lose his soul to the Darlings and that the family is coming between them.
Tripp didn't have anything to do with the visa situation, so Brian's suspicions were incorrect this time around. Tripp also tells his son that he should tell anyone who asks that he was out sailing with Patrick for the past two days. Over at the fancy Elder joint, Karen returns the fuel vial to Simon, telling him that she doesn't want to betray him. I have a feeling she's lying and replaced the fuel with another liquid, but only because that's what I would do. The instant Karen leaves the room, Simon calls someone and says, "We've got her." Shady!
Nola finds Jeremy drowning his sorrows at the bar and promptly starts flirting with him. She wants to get it on in his limo, which is exactly what happens since Jeremy is easily seduced. Meanwhile, the family's maids and driver see on the news that the country house has burned to ground. This comes as no surprise to the driver, since he planted the dead body there and started the blaze.
It's now 48 hours later and we're finally back to the birthday party, where Brian has a sunburn to help sell that sailing story. Nick and Lisa reunite and assure each other that their relationship will be fine, and that's when the cops show up to ruin everything. They board the yacht and arrest Letitia (Jill Clayburgh
) for the murder of Nick's father! Wow, I definitely didn't see that twist coming.
That's the end of the season 2 premiere of Dirty Sexy Money
. Tune in next week to find out if Letitia is actually responsible for Dutch's murder!
- Don Williams, BuddyTV Staff Writer
(Image courtesy of ABC)