Previously on Desperate Housewives: Katherine is sleeping with Mike, Porter got his best friend's mom pregnant, Dave signed the Wisteria Lane Garage Band up for a Battle of the Bands, and Dave's creepy doctor booked a flight to Fairview.

Last year, Desperate Housewives had a tornado, now there's a big fire. At this rate, it shouldn't be long before Wisteria Lane faces an earthquake, a mudslide, and a plague of locusts. At the Battle of the Bands, the venue is set on fire and the police suspect arson. But in true television fashion, the whole episode focuses on the day leading up to the inferno.

Susan
Julie (Andrea Bowen) returns home with her new boyfriend, a thrice-divorced professor. Susan (Teri Hatcher) freaks out, as usual, but for perhaps the first time, it's totally rational. Even scarier is that the old man proposes to Julie, but she turns him down because Susan's awful track record has turned Julie off marriage for good. I guess that's one positive thing Susan has done for her daughter.

Gabi
Gabi (Eva Longoria Parker) changes her mind about spending time with Virginia when she learns the Solis family are the sole beneficiaries to her will. That changes when Virginia insist on where to send the kids to school, so despite mocking her kids' obesity, she loves them more than $50 million dollars.

Lynette
Parker spills the beans on Porter's plan to flee with his pregnant old lady, so Lynette (Felicity Huffman) confronts Anne. Sadly, her psycho husband Warren overhears it, and he beats the hell out of his pregnant wife, but Lynette's conscience makes her return and throw a candlestick at him. I really hate when Desperate Housewives gets serious, because watching a man kick his wife in the face is not a pleasant viewing experience.

Bree
A big-time reporter comes to interview Bree, and her attempts to make her life seem perfect are thwarted by her gay son and ex-con husband. Bree finds out from Bob and Lee that the reporter has all the dirt, and in a great scene, Lee wishes he knew the crazy Bree from past seasons, because he could've been great friends with a boozehound whose first husband was into S&M hookers. It's like a painful reminder of how awesome Bree used to be.

The Battle of the Bands
The men are concerned about competing with a bunch of teenagers, but in a convenient plot twist, everyone shows up to see Blue Odyssey. Not only is the entire main cast in attendance, but old lady Virginia tagged along with Gabi, Bree's reporter wants to see Orson sing with the man he tried to kill (Mike), Dave's shrink learns about it from Edie, and Anne's crazy, abusive husband is the owner of the bar.

Dave's doctor stops by and gets freaked out by one of the names in Dave's band. Dave takes the doctor into the back and chokes him to death, then lights the body on fire. Jackson goes back to use the bathroom, and Dave locks him in. During the performance, everyone tries to flee. Virginia gets knocked down, and when Mike goes back to find Jackson, he passes out from smoke inhalation. Dave runs back in to save Mike, but only because “I'm not done with you,” as he says ominously.


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of ABC)