It's Monday, which means we are but hours from this week's Dancing with the Stars performance show! And, according to a report from TMZ, we know how those performances will sound.
This week, each pair will dance either the jive or the quickstep in an attempt to impress the judges and the voting audience. Last week's loss of David Hasselhoff and Kym Johnson means that there are an odd number of couples. As a result, only five couples will jive, while the other six dance the quickstep. The songs themselves are a mixture of pop-friendly styles, (hopefully) well-suited to the dances in question.
A few song choices are more interesting than others. If Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya do not begin their "Danger Zone" jive in flight suits and sunglasses, I may cry. The Bristol Palin/Mark Ballas quickstep to "You Can't Hurry Love" is notable as yet another oldie for the young dancers. Although the song's subject matter smacks of irony (considering Bristol's claim to notoriety), the musical genre makes you wonder exactly how much "wholesome Bristol" we have to endure this season.The jivers include:Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
After last week's performance, we can only hope the magic will return.Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough
-- "Shake It"
She was beautiful last week, but can Jennifer Grey shake it when the tempo speeds up? We'll see...Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya
-- "Danger Zone"
How much turbo-charged, high-flying awesomeness is possible here? So much!Margaret Cho and Louis Van Amstel
As long as it's not another judging nightmare...Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke
If Rick Fox shakes his tush this week, I will need little more to make me happy.The quickstepping dancers are:Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani
-- "Love Machine"
I am now besieged by nonsensical images of Audrina as a sexy, killer robot out for world domination under the guise of a dance contest. Scary...Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas
-- "You Can't Hurry Love"
Bristol tried. It didn't work so well.Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas
-- "Suddenly I See"
She had some moves last week, but anything that happens "suddenly" here might be dangerous. Florence isn't so young anymore!Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer
-- "I Want You To"
I know he's not actually underage, but the possible implications of this song title still creep me out a little.Michael Bolton and Chelsie Hightower
-- "Hound Dog"
Wouldn't this song be more appropriate for The Situation?The Situation and Karina Smirnoff
-- "We No Speak Americano"
Based on his soundbites, I'm not so sure that The Situation speaks Americano so well either.(Image courtesy of ABC)