Seven weeks ago, 11 mother-daughter pairs arrived on Crowned
to vie for a chance to win a pair of custom-made diamond necklaces, a pair of fabulous tiaras, $100,000 and, of course, the privilege of never having to be de-sashed. Almost immediately, the teams divided into two feuding cliques. Over these weeks, seven teams have been de-sashed and only four teams remain. They are the Daredevil Divas (Jenileigh
), the Gifted Dolls (Rachelle
), the Sincere Sexy Reds (Laura
), and the Dream Gals (Hollis
). All four teams will compete tonight in a live pageant finale, but only one team will be Crowned
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Before the pageant, Laura confessionals that she thinks that she and her mom have the closest relationship among the remaining teams, but this footage is juxtaposed with her snapping at her mother in a fit of rage while coaching her on her walk.
The eight ladies, plus all the previously eliminated teams, file onstage in front of the live audience to perform their big opening group dance to "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better" from Annie Get Your Gun
. Jack Wagner, who is supposedly an award-winning actor, comes out on stage to act as the host for the evening, but I don't believe that I've ever heard of him before. He explains that the teams will be judged in four competitions: swimsuit, eveningwear, talent and interview.
We start off the evening with the swimsuit competition. As usual, Patty and Laura are way over-the-top with their walks and poses, but wow, they are certainly in great shape. Well, Patty could use a bit of meat on her bones.
Jenileigh and Moya go next and the judges are uniformly more impressed with them than with the Sincere Sexy Reds.
Hollis and Gina don't have quite as much strut in their walks, but they are still cute. Carson Kressley
thinks that their synchronicity wasn't great, but Shanna Moakler
Rachelle and Mindy don't have coordinating swimsuits, which doesn't escape the judges' notice. Cynthia Garrett
observes that Mindy looks like a frightened kitten.
After the swimsuit competition, the standings are as follows: The Sincere Sexy Reds are in fourth place with 23 points out of a possible 30. The Dream Gals and Gifted Dolls are tied for second place with 26 points. Daredevil Divas are in first place with 27 points.
As they are getting ready to leave the stage to get ready for the talent portion, Mindy starts to feel dizzy and drops to her knees. Medics come out and fit her immediately with an oxygen mask. Backstage, Mindy asks for some chicken or a hamburger.
Laura and Patty are first up for the talent portion. As in the preliminary talent competition in Episode 4, Laura sings "Climb Every Mountain" with Patty on the piano. Only, this time, Laura messes up and has to stop in the middle of the song. It's really excruciating and awkward to watch and I squirm uncomfortably in my seat as they try to regain their composure. It's not pretty. When they get back into it, Patty plays the wrong part on the piano, and it's just generally the kind of thing that you pray will be over as soon as possible. The judges are not kind.
Jenileigh and Moya do their aerial routine and it's awesome. They've included Moya in the routine more this time than when they did it before, but still, Jenileigh exhibits the lion's share of talent.
Gina and Hollis sing a little duet a cappella. Thankfully, they don't have any pitch problems like they did before.
And finally, Rachelle and Mindy do their sexy, sassy '50s-style soft shoe in their little navy outfits. They do a fabulous job and you can hardly tell that Mindy was feeling faint a moment ago. Backstage, the Dream Gals and the Daredevil Divas applaud for their friends while the Sincere Sexy Reds merely scowl.
The Sincere Sexy Reds, in fourth place score 20 points, giving them a combined score of 43. In third place, the Dream Gals score 25, giving them a total of 51. In second place, the Daredevil Divas score a nearly perfect 29 for a combined score of 55. And in first place, the Gifted Dolls get a perfect 30 to take the lead with a score of 56
The next part of the competition is the evening gown portion. Patty and Laura come out on stage looking tentative. The judges are a little disappointed with Patty's choice of eveningwear and Cynthia feels that they were lacking in teamwork. Moya and Jenileigh have black and white dresses, and style guru Carson thinks that Jenileigh was too blinged out. Gina and Hollis go metallic with their gowns, which Carson thinks are dowdy. Rachelle and Mindy are last, and the judges compliment them on their natural and easy elegance.
Jack Wagner announces the standing at the half-way point. Both the Gifted Dolls and the Daredevil Divas score 28 points in the evening gown competition, leaving the former in first place with 84 points and the latter in second with 83. And before he proceeds with the rest of the scores, there's an ambush de-sashing. A tuxedoed dude comes out holding the velvet pillow upon which lies the bejeweled scissors. The Dream Gals and the Sincere Sexy Reds are on the chopping block, and whoever has the fewest must be immediately de-sashed. The Dream Gals score a 22, giving them a total of 77, and the Sincere Sexy Reds score a 24, giving them a score of 67. So the Gals must pick up the scissors and de-sash the Reds. Laura's and Patty's pageant is now over.
For the interview portion of the competition, each team must explain their chosen platform issue within the allotted time. Jack Wagner also asks them how much of the $100,000 prize money they would use to promote their platforms. The Gifted Dolls go first and they speak about the gift of life in organ transplants. They don't do a good job with time-management, however. Next, the Dream Gals talk about how they want to go into schools to teach communications. Actually, Hollis is a bit of a mic-hog so she does most of the talking. They are also caught off-guard with the money question and fumble out an answer. The final pair, Jenileigh and Moya, explain their rather vague platform about helping people fulfill their dreams, but they respond sincerely that they would give all of the prize money away to help other people achieve their dreams if they needed to, despite their current financial worries.
In the final moments of the Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants
, Jack Wagner announces that the second runners up are the Dream Gals. And the first ever winning mother-daughter team on Crowned
are the Daredevil Divas, Jenileigh and Moya!
-Debbie Chang, BuddyTV Staff Writer
(Image courtesy of The CW)