'Big Brother 14' Recap: A Clip Show Full of Fools
'Big Brother 14' Recap: A Clip Show Full of Fools
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
This episode of Big Brother 14 is mostly a clip show looking back at some of the highlights of the season (Froot Loops! Dan's Funeral!). But there's a lot more than clips, because we have the awesome aftermath of Dan evicting Shane to deal with.

Yes, Dan fooled Danielle once again and she was mortified and furious. There's no way he can possibly talk himself out of this one, right? Wrong. He's Dan the Man. And Danielle is a self-admitted dumbass.

After Shane's Eviction

I will never get tired of seeing Danielle's reaction when Dan evicted Shane. I'm sure the first houseguest in the door on Big Brother 15 will be tripping over her jaw.

The aftermath of Dan's massive move is kind of epic, because he immediately tries to do damage control with Danielle. Their relationship is best explained by the moment they go into the arcade room after Shane is evicted. Danielle asks why Dan continuously lies to her. Dan says "Sit down" and she does, like a dog on command. Seriously, all season she's just blindly done everything Dan has said without even thinking about it.

Dan tries to explain that he did it because Danielle wouldn't beat Shane at the end and he's trying to help her win the game. It's a giant steaming pile of dog crap, but Danielle is just dumb enough to believe it.

She goes through a series of rapid-fire emotions. She's angry at Dan, she's sad about Shane, she hates what a liar Dan is, then she ultimately blames herself for continuing to trust him because she should know better.

"Fool me once, shame on you," Danielle says in the diary room. "Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times and I'm a dumbass." Yes, Danielle, you are. Especially because Dan will fool her at least two more times before the season is over.

While Dan calms Danielle down, Ian wanders around the house in a daze, muttering random phrases like a crazy person. He reminds me of Andrew at the very end of the series finale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when the bus was driving away from Sunnydale and he just looked out the window and muttered "Why didn't I die?"

Clip Show

Dan, Danielle and Ian get a nice breakfast to celebrate making the final three and remember the highlights of the season in clip show format. Danielle claims she's plotting her revenge against Dan over mimosas. Oh sweetie, Emily Thorne you are not. Just go back to doing what you're good at, which is crying about whether or not the cute boy likes you.

The best part of the clips is seeing old HGs. Hey look, it's Jodi! And Willie's Froot Loops fight and expulsion! And some random sexy lady who is probably Kara! And Shane's pink tank top!

The star of the clips is Britney. When she was on the block she started nonchalantly throwing Frank's food on the ground, then she beat the ever-loving crap out of his stuffed animal, Big Ted. We also see her naming the Quack Pack, mocking Janelle's inability to cry and serving as Shane and Danielle's relationship counselor.

There's also Boogie reading the Bible! And Ian's date with Ashley! And Ian's fight with Frank the Carrot!

The last clip we get is one of the best: Dan's funeral. It's impossible to watch this epic moment and NOT think Dan deserves to win again.

The Final HoH Competition, Part 1

It's pure endurance as the final three HGs must hold onto a hook while getting slammed into a wall, rained on and totally submerged into a pond. The fact that Ian and Danielle are both in short-sleeved shirts seems a bit unfair. The best/dumbest moment comes when Danielle proudly boasts in the diary room that she may cut Dan if she wins this final HoH. Watching her try to make a big move on her own is like watching a dog try to do arithmetic.

See Who Won Part 1 of the Final HoH Competition>>

See Who Won Part 2 of the Final HoH Competition>>

Now there's only one episode left, so be sure to come back for my live blog of the Big Brother 14 finale Wednesday at 9:30pm.

(Image courtesy of CBS)