Big Brother 11: Natalie, The World's Worst Poker Player
Big Brother 11: Natalie, The World's Worst Poker Player
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
To be a successful poker player, you need to be able to bluff and have your opponent believe you.  By that definition, Natalie is the worst poker player in the history of the world, and I have no doubt that I would be able to beat her any day of the week.

The latest episode of Big Brother 11 crystallized exactly how awful Natalie is, and represented everything I hate about her as both a player on Big Brother and as a person in general.  The ultimate revelation came when Natalie opened Pandora's Box to spend 20 minutes with her boyfriend (now fiance, and I'll save how unlucky that guy is for another time).

She then immediately tried to lie about what happened, but proving just how bad of a liar she is, it was so unbelievable that even Jordan, the girl who thinks nectarines are peaches, didn't buy it.  Natalie's second attempt at defense was begging no one to ask her about what happened, which is kind of like the Wizard of Oz telling Dorothy to ignore what's behind the curtain: it ain't gonna work.

Finally, she came clean and admitted the truth, which was actually the worst idea imaginable, because now the HGs don't even believe the truth, they instead only see her as an openly manipulative and deceitful person.  You don't make a pre-flop bluff raise if you don't intend to fire another bullet later.

However, the Pandora's Box dilemma is the least of Natalie's lies.  To start with, there's the whole issue of being 18.  Sadly, a lot of the other HGs seem to buy this, but that doesn't make it a good lie, it just means she's playing with a bunch of total morons.

She's drinking alcohol in the house, and if anyone else honestly believes the producers would let an underage girl drink on live feeds, they must be delusional.  If the flop comes queen, jack, 10 of clubs and you go all-in, get everyone to fold, then claim you had a royal flush, no one worth a damn would believe it because that's a ridiculous lie.

The last lie that ticks me off is the one about wanting to target Kevin this week.  Any rational person realizes that Natalie's nomination ceremony was totally pointless, especially since she gave up the right to play in this week's Power of Veto competition.  Whoever wins the PoV is safe, and the other two people will be nominated.  In other words, Natalie has no say whatsoever in who gets evicted this week.

Anyone who believes what she says is an idiot, and since lying to an idiot is the easiest thing in the world, there is no respect for that.  Right now in the Big Brother house, Natalie is playing against a bunch of fish.  If she sat down at a table where people understand the basic rules of poker, that girl would have to pawn the twisty ring her boyfriend gave her just to settle the debt.

Natalie is not a good liar, she's not a good poker player, and she's not a good Big Brother strategist.  She just happens to be playing against dead money.

-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of CBS)