'Bachelor Pad' Recap: Hot, Wet and Sticky -- Just Another Rose Competition
'Bachelor Pad' Recap: Hot, Wet and Sticky -- Just Another Rose Competition
This week on Bachelor Pad, things get sticky and nutty as the couples compete for a rose. Ed confronts Reid about last week's Rock the Vote to Get Ed Out campaign, but it's a dud of a fight. Ed gets wasted and hooks up with a someone in the house again --  it's oddly comforting to see some things never change, including more girls crying.

Sticky Situation

The couples this week literally become human hot fudge sundaes -- and I love that the show will do just about anything to show their cast in a somewhat embarrassing light.

The women have to go through each "layer" of sundae, complete with running through what Chris Harrison calls a "nutsack." Chris, leave the dirty joke to the players, please.

The men then have to complete the challenge backward.

This proved especially difficult for Ed, partnered with Jamie by random. Jamie is the first girl to finish -- by a wide margin. But Ed is bad. So very bad. He's so bad that he doesn't even finish the competition!

Edphoto.pngHere's second-to-last place Chris taking over Ed.

The producers were like, "We have to keep this show moving, Ed, we can't wait for you all day." The rest of the house could've gone out to eat, and Ed still would not have finished. Chris Harrison could've hosted the next season of The Bachelor, and Ed would not have finished. That's just flat out embarrassing.

dirtyphoto.pngA sundae has never looked so disgusting.

Kalon, paired with nemesis Erica, had the best line, saying Erica had the advantage because she could "Eat her way through, Pacman style." Do we still hate him, America? Because he's become so entertaining. He's not featured too much, and when he's not, I find myself asking WWKS, What Would Kalon Say? The show needs to start focusing on Kalon to give more off-camera narrations/comments instead of Stags and his wavy hands and crazy eyes.

David, paired up with Rachel, ends up winning -- by a nose over Stags, who really hustled at the last minute trying not to get beat out by the fan. It's totally impressive that David keeps winning, and the house is seeing what a huge physical threat he is. I love it. The longer David stays, pissing off the rest of the house -- especially the guys, the more I'm entertained.

Date Nights

For winning, David and Rachel get a rose, while Jamie is pissed that she and Ed get a vote against them. David also selects Blakeley, Erica and Jamie to take on dates. I'm surprised he doesn't save Donna. Although I'm starting to see Donna/David as actual Bachelor alums whose seasons I did not see, there's still very much a divide. This group go to a prom, which is totally not how my prom was. Probably because we didn't have thousands of dollars to blow off. Jamie, though she's with Blakeley, is happy she gets to experience something she never did. As for Erica, it's nice to see that the tension with her and David is a thing of the past. For some reason, I find that oddly reassuring for David.

Blakeley pours on some crap about how she saved David last week -- how exactly, by giving Chris the rose? Dream on, lady.

Jamie works her charm and gets to David, ending up with the rose! Whether her tears were real and her words were sincere, I don't know. But I doubt it. She has Chris-goggles on, and it's not coming off any time soon. But she worked it!

Rachel, for her date, take Tony and Nick and ... surprise, surprise, Stags. I feel bad for Tony and Nick. Not only can I not tell them apart most of the time, but they're never shown on screen, and now they're the third and fourth wheel on Rachel and Stags' date. After getting made up like wax figurines and having a good time scaring guests to the museum, Rachel gives her rose to Stags.

chrisphoto.pngReal or fake? Couldn't really tell. He's so tan! (He's real.)

Hooking Up -- Success and Rejection

Ed gets super drunk -- yet again, and carries Jaclyn off on his back, and the two hook up. Again, Ed is super loud during the course of their ... courtship. It's even more gross when the entire house hears you. I mean, you already figure people are going to be hooking up left and right, but why put them through hearing you? I feel worse for the people in the house than I do us, as viewers!

Meanwhile, Jamie wants to get in bed with Chris, but is shot down. Chris was living the life at first, having two girls wanting his undivided attention, but he's now seeing that it's not all fun and games. He just seems so miserable.

Jamie cries -- again, I don't know why, going off about being a good wife and having a family. Have we stopped feeling bad for her?

If At First You Don't Succeed ...

Reid wants Ed out -- again. I have to hand it to him for his efforts. But it's a little odd that Reid is going after Ed so hard, since Ed believes they're friends since they've kept in touch after Jillian's season. It makes me think that Reid is just doing this to stir things up. I can't help but think it's a little fake. Because think about it: Other than the Blakeley/Chris/Jamie love triangle, there's nothing else going on! At least that's what's being shown. At least with Reid's "hatred," there's another story line going on in the house. Erica/David are on good terms. Kalin isn't the big bully we all thought he would be, and hasn't had any confrontations with Erica. So what else is left?

But back to Ed and Reid, who denies everything. But when he wants to get Ed out again, Sarah spills the beans to Ed. There's Ed yelling, and Reid denying, but other than that, the fight's a bit of a snoozer. Ed also goes on about how he can't believe people would lie to him, people he trusted. Funny coming from Ed of all people because he's such a clean, upstanding guy. Give me a break.

We Don't Want No Honest Game!

As much as I want Reid's master plan to succeed -- getting Ed and Blakeley out, I don't understand his game at ALL. He tells Jaclyn of all people that since Ed is going home, they should partner up. What a sleazy move! Reid of all people! It's especially entertaining to see him be all selfish when Jaclyn/Ed go off about being honest in the game. Give me a break. Do they not know what show they're on? What did they sign up for, Bachelor Truth Pad? What do they viewers want to see? It's certainly not Ed hooking up left and right, that's for sure!

Although Reid is playing the game, this move also hurts him because the rally against him seems to be bigger. His mistake is being too confident.

Alliances Take Shape

It's down to Reid/Ed and Blakeley/Donna. Blakeley and Donna are being reassured that each is safe.

Stags/Rachel, Chris/Blakeley, Ed/Jaclyn are one obvious alliance. Reid, Erica, Donna are another. Sarah/Jamie are playing both sides, Dave is probably with Reid's team, and I don't know about Nick/Tony, but they seem to be with Reid. Like I said, never on.

I'm hoping Reid's alliance can come through, but Lindzi and Kalon are the swing vote -- loose canons as they're described. Kalon will just do whatever to shake up the vote, and I'm happy to see that's how he's playing, but also worry for him because that will make him seem wishy-washy.

Backfired

Reid and Donna are sent home! Chris Harrison says it was one THE closest vote on Bachelor Pad. What a double whammy for Reid, the girl he wanted saved is out -- and so is he! If he could've stayed on Ed's side and not have been so vocal, he could've totally backstabbed him later. Jaclyn gives a high and might speech in front of everyone about playing the game with more honesty. Why do I get the feeling that's wishful thinking?

Esther Gim
Contributing Writer

(Images courtesy of CBS)

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