In response, Sundai pulls the classic mean girl tactic, "I'm sorry, but... [bitchy statement I am not at all sorry about saying]":

And so the merciless Karmic Wheel of America's Next Top Model begins to turn faster and faster for these two, Kara and Sundai, who will come to regret throwing fetus-shaped stones out of their own awkward, underdeveloped, and (in one particular case) lazy-eyed glass houses.

The Go-See Challenge:
The girls head over to Wilhemina to meet with Sean Patterson and one of his short models, who reads earnestly off a cue card all about the challenge, and it's like a beginner's Dr. Seuss moment! Which made me think: if only they had just given her a rhyming list to recite to the models:

5: The number of go-sees you need to attend,
4: How many hours you have to spend!
3: The go-sees to which you can logically show,
2: girls to a team. Now run, bitches, GO!

For teams, Sean splits up the Aryan twins (Rae and Erin) among the two ethnic girls left in the competition (Sundai and Jennifer, respectively), and then it's like foreshadowing for the ninja challenge to come: on the 'yin' team we have Kara and Brittany, who together can harness their power of frigid uppercrust bitchiness, and over on the 'yang' we have Laura and Nicole, collectively representing PURE JOY!

The go-sees are a hurried, schizophrenic mess (at least when editing down to 5 minutes), but we learn the following about each model:

Rae:
Drives like an 80 year old woman
Does a pretty decent Minnesotan accent

Sundai:
Has a fear of jewelry (yet accessorizes to oblivion at judging panel?)

Jennifer:
Wears too much eye make-up for a go-see (probably to play off the ptosis)

Brittany:
Is "competitive" (AKA so cold she wouldn't tell Laura and Nicole which hall to walk down to get to the right studio)
Never learned not to put her shoes on the table (and in front of a designer!)

Laura:
Does not know how to put money in a parking meter
Does a hilariously terrible "hood rat" accent

Nicole:
Was the only one the commercial agency thought could book a talking spot on TV. (WHO KNEW?)

Erin:
Doesn't "do well with new people" (Actually, we kind of figured that out already)

Kara:
Looked greasy and scruffy (like a "homeless dog" - her words!)
Does not have pierced ears (a big "no no" for the jewelry designer who gave HER a big "no, NO!" as a result)

Sundai and Rae were disqualified for being 15 minutes late back to Wilhemina, and got a real (fake) tongue-lashing from Sean Patterson about it. HE HATES LATE MODELS! (Almost as much as Tyra hates stumpy ones.)

In the end, Nicole was victorious (-ly beautiful), booking 2 of her 3 go-sees and winning a buttload of clothes and jewelry from the designers!

Remember, kids, this is the face of a winner:

And, a loser:

And the big wheel in the sky keeps on turning, this time dumping Kar(m)a on her ass.

"Nicole. I hate her!" says our sourpatch kid up there. Well, fair enough. We always hate what we don't understand. And what wins thousands of dollars worth of clothes and validation while we are left with the stinging knowledge that our first impression as a "model" in the biz is that of a mangy rodent. I'd take the "fetus" comment over that any day.

The Photo Shoot:
Each girl gets dressed as a ninja, picks a weapon, and straps on a harness that gives them "diaper rash," says Nicole. They each spend half the photo shoot posing on the ground, and half flying around on the harness, trying their best to look like sexy, athletic, bad ass, but graceful, female ninjas. Some with more success than others.

The epic battle between Nicole and Kara continues, this time with Kara making fun of Nicole's slow-talkin' way...

... and Nicole fantasizing outloud about Kara's face being "burnt to a crisp" by her smokey-eye makeup.

I love bitchiness when it's out in the open... and by that I mean expressed via meaningful death-stares!

Nicole, Jennifer, and Erin all impress Jay with their graceful moves on and off the floor. Laura does well using her weapon (a stick num-chuck thingy) to make herself look long and lean, and Brittany was the clumsiest on the wire, but still managed to nail a lot of strong poses.

Rae fell a bit flat for Jay, but she still looked beautiful. Sundai was awkward... so awkward that Jay called her shoot "abysmal, like remedial modeling."

And then there was Kara, who said she "didn't care for weapons" and didn't want to pose with a sword. So, SURPRISE! That came through just a liiiittle bit.

So much for channeling all her Nicole-anger in the photo shoot. The only thing Kara channeled was ninja nap time. (Because they do it with both eyes open and looking in opposite directions! Haha, get it? Wonky eye! You get it.)

Judging Panel and Elimination:

See high-quality versions of all the models' final elimination shots.

The guest judge is supermodel Jessica White, and Miss J, as promised, just keeps getting puffier:

Tyra praises Jennifer on her "good crazy" expression, which I think is aided by the fact that this model NEVER. CLOSES. HER. MOUTH. Ever.

Still, for a mouth-breather, she looks pretty FIIIER-arce.

Nigel notes that Brittany looks sexy, but is it too sexy? The short answer: No.

Laura looks long and lean, Erin looks confused (in a... good way?), Rae makes "naive angles,"  and the judges also wonder whether Sundai is a one-angle wonder.

Nicole gets first call-out because, duh, LOOK AT HER:

And Kara and Sundai end up in the bottom two. What'd I tell you? Karma's a bitch!

Actually, scratch that whole thing about karma. The real divine, driving force on this show, as we all know, is Tyra. She alone decides who will live and who will die by her stiletto of justice. This time, she must choose between Kara's face, which Tyra loves but just doesn't deliver, and Sundai's uber-shortness, which is stuck in a three-quarters look.

Tyra calls Sundai, and Kara is eliminated. Tyra patronizes her fully by asking "What do you think happened? Do you think you gave up a little bit?"

Answer: bitter sobs. That's probably a yes.

As she packs, Kara cries and whines that she never would have bought a plane ticket back to the States from Costa Rica if she had known she wasn't going to win. What's the point of even trying if you're not going to win? "If I didn't win, I wouldn't have came."

She's got the sense of gratitude of a fetus.

Next week on America's Next Top Model: The girls fumble through an interview challenge with The Insider, and Erin ruins her Covergirl Lashblast Length mascara by crying all over it in the Covergirl commercial shoot.



-Meghan Carlson, BuddyTV Staff Writer
Images courtesy of the CW