If it has to do with Sanjaya Malakar
or American Idol
, then it's news.
The great city of Federal Way, Washington (Sanjaya's hometown) is refusing to have a city-mandated Sanjaya Malakar Day. According to local news, “That city's manager says Federal Way has more important things to deal with and won't push to give the 17-year old a proclamation.” How dare they deny the citizens of Federal Way a tangible way to celebrate their beloved son? What kind of sick, depressing world do we live in?
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Being a lifelong resident of the Seattle, Washington, I am actually familiar with the city of Federal Way. It is a mere 25-30 minutes south on I-5 from us, in between Seattle and Tacoma. There is one, and one reason only, to visit Federal Way: Wild Waves. You see, Wild Waves is the only major waterpark within a reasonable vicinity to Seattle, and it is clearly visible off the freeway from I-5 as you pass through Federal Way. It is a nice enough waterpark (although I don't have wide-ranging waterpark experience to judge it against) and is the only reason anyone would ever visit that city. Point being, I can't see why Federal Way wouldn't want to capitalize on all this Sanjaya madness.
Here is my advice to Federal Way:
If you're only destination of note is a waterpark, you can't afford to slap away a wispy-mustached-singing-machine-godsend like Sanjaya. It is inexcusable. Have a Sanjaya Malakar Day. Have a Sanjaya Malakar parade (a float for every hairstyle!). Wild Waves should unveil a new Sanjaya-themed slide for the summer (ride The Pony-Hawk of Doom!). Perhaps Federal Way is in the midst of more serious issues, although I can't imagine what those would be. Unless Federal Way decides to embrace their Golden Child, it'll likely be years until he returns, seeing as he will almost surely become a global singing phenomenon after he emerges victorious on this season's American Idol
Federal Way, I implore you: don't miss this opportunity! Do you not want to be known as the city that spawned the greatest singing human this world has ever known?
-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
Image Courtesy of Fox.com