The audition episodes that mark the first month of the American Idol season are noteworthy for the crazy people and mental cases who trot out whatever unique brand of awful they have to offer.  Even after seven seasons of Idol, the well has not run dry.  If America can do anything, it's provide an excess delusional singers.  The first two episodes this week, featuring the auditions from Philadelphia and Dallas , did not disappoint.  In fact, I'd say that a few of the bad auditions will have some staying power, especially one with a very special man named Renaldo Lapuz.  Below you will find videos of what I consider to be the three Best of the Worst Idol auditions from season 7's first week.

Best of the Worst #1: Milo Turk - “No Sex Allowed”

This guy slayed me.  A social worker who wants to spread his message to the masses was already on the right track when he showed up to the Philly auditions wearing a leopard print vest.  I don't think I've ever seen one of those outside of The Flintstones.  Anyway, his message was clear: Milo doesn't want you to have sex.  At all.  In fact, it is “Not Allowed.”  The judges only allowed Milo to sing one of the three verses of “No Sex Allowed.”  That was more than enough.



Best of the Worst #2: Paul Marturano - “Stalker Song”

This got the most buzz after the Philly episode, but here's the thing: this was a set-up.  Paul was definitely putting on an act, and the producers knew it.  If some seemingly crazy person strode into the auditions and started singing the lyrics Paul sang, he would've been quickly detained by security and escorted out.  However, security was nowhere to be seen, even when he approached the judges.  That being said, this song is freaking hilarious.  Lines like “If you were a bath tub, I would caulk you” and “If you were a blackboard, I would chalk you” should make Paul's song the new stalker anthem.



Best of the Worst #3: Renaldo Lapuz - “We're Brothers Forever”

This was an insane ten minutes of television.  Renaldo closed the Dallas auditions, and FOX really did save the best for last.  Wearing all white, with a cape, fur coat and a top hat with “Simon” written on it, Renaldo quickly let it be known that he loves Simon Cowell.  Worships him.  He thinks Simon's message of honesty and peace or whatever is beautiful and needs to be heard by all.  In honor of Cowell, Lapuz wrote this song.  It's a catchy little tune which was performed with incredible, triumphant energy.  He continues to sing the chorus for minutes on end, with Randy and Paula eventually joining him, dancing, singing along.  Seacrest is even brought in to witness the festivities.  Just watch the video.  It'll make your day.




-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of FOX)