Salt Lake City, land of 3% beer, the Mormon religion, Jerry Sloan, David Archuleta
and the Osmonds. American Idol
brings its madness to Utah tonight in an episode that promises to be an interesting one. The word on the street is that Salt Lake City provided an ample amount of talent this season, which kind of makes sense - it's the first time American Idol has come to the Great Salt Lake, and those Utahans are known for their singing. OK, maybe not, but at least we'll get to see on of the Osmond clan perform tonight. That's right, a real, live Osmond will be taking the audition stage. Are you as excited as I am? I own every Osmond record ever made, have been to over a dozen of their concerts and own black market DVDs of their syndicated talk show. As always, I'll be here throughout the evening, watching and typing, perusing and thoughting, observing and reporting. Such is the life an American Idol
Almost had some computer issues there, but my co-worker Kim came through. Kim will be getting liquored up on my dime in the near future. As inherently wary of Salt Lake City as I am, I am legitimately excited for tonight's episode. Idol comes up and says the obvious right away - SLC is the home of Little David Archuleta. Hooray, Archie!
Contestants began congregating in the dark, at 5am, for the auditions. The sun rises, and it's time to begin. "Shiny Happy People" by REM (and the silly chick from The B-52's!) plays in the background. I guess people are really happy in Utah. Apparently, High School Musical was set in Utah.
David Osmond, who is the son of Allen Osmond, an original Osmond, is the first audition. He introduces us to his family - good god. There are so, so many of them. Do you really need that many kids? Geez. And, this is sad. Allen Osmond has had Multiple Sclerosis for 21 years. And, then David got MS in 2006. He was in a wheelchair six months ago, but now he's better. He sings some Take 6. He's got good control, kind of a blah voice, some small annoying tendencies, but he's all right. His voice doesn't have much strength or depth. Paula is insightful, says he should pick a song by a solo artist. He's going to Hollywood, nonetheless. His wife (we have to assume they're already married) is quite the looker.
I just found myself chuckling at a Denny's commercial. Who roofied my Gatorade?
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