Night one of American Idol's Hollywood Auditions went over pretty well, with many of the familiar faces from early in the season showing up and, generally, making it through to round 2.  Only 43 of the 147 Hollywood invitees were kicked to the curb after the first, a capella round of auditions, and this is just the beginning.  The show is about to get far more emotional, early season favorites will drop like flies, and there will be anger.  Oh, the anger!  And the crying!  I love the crying, but I also hate it.  Tears of joy always come off as cloying to me, or as a blatant sign of emotional instability.  Nevertheless, tonight brings the group auditions, which can provide complete disaster, or surprising success.  There will be in-fighting, there will be some wild cards who completely let down their teams, and, again, there will be tears.  Once more, I will be here throughout the night, funneling my live thoughts into cyberspace with the grace and beauty of a concert cellist.  Join me, America, and get Yo-Yo Ma-ed. 

American Idol 8: Top 36 Revealed Slideshow



And we're off. We open with a montage of all sorts of crying.  I love the group rounds.  However, it doesn't have much to do with the rest of the competition, which is solely based on solo performances.  I'm a fan nonetheless.

It's 9pm inside the Kodak Theater.  The final 104 contestants are about to be informed of what's next.  Tomorrow, they will take the stage as a group of three or four.  Some people don't have a group.  Like Megan Corkrey, who just joins one group battering ram style.  Tatiana, crazy, hyena-laughing beauty queen girl, is featured, and she's still annoying.

Rose Flack, hippie girl, is teamed up with Bikini Girl, and Rose really hates Katrina.  As she should.  Tatiana is going insane, she's crying, yelling, and her team hates her.  I can't believe she made it to Hollywood.  She thinks that her team is throwing her under the bus.  She tries to join another team, one person loves the idea, the other two hate it, including D-Bag Crying Guy from last night.

It's 1am, some people are sleeping, others aren't.  Tatiana just left her first group.  She joined Kristen McNamara, Nancy, and Nathaniel Mitchell.  Tatiana goes back to her original group, and now the second group feels scorned.  Tatiana is unbearable.  Stop giving her screen time.  It's 230am, and Nancy, Kristen and Nat are getting along.  Tatiana's team is not doing well.  She is absolutely annoying the piss out of everyone on her team.  Are these really the two teams we have to follow?  Kristen is likable, and Nancy is horribly abrasive.  She also has dyed red hair.  Nate is still going with that T-shirt over a shirt and tie look.  Now, Nancy makes Kristen cry.  Good times.  Ominous piano music plays in the background.


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