'True Blood' Recap: Naked Men Fight Over Sookie
'True Blood' Recap: Naked Men Fight Over Sookie
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
What's better than Eric and Alcide fighting over Sookie on True Blood? How about if they're both completely naked while doing it? Yes, this week, the ridiculous vampire soap opera is all about showing off Alcide's insanely ripped body when he comes to help Sookie with Amnesia Eric.

After killing Claudine, Eric is drunk and giddy on fairy blood, and it also lets him walk in the sun. He runs away, so Sookie calls up Alcide to track him. Alcide proceeds to strip down to transform into a wolf, giving us a nice, long look at just how much Joe Manganiello works out.

They find Eric skinny dipping in a lake filled with crocodiles, and the result is one of the weirdest and funniest scenes ever as Eric turns on his Viking charm and threatens to fight a naked and growling Alcide.

They eventually talk Eric back to sanity and he spends the rest of the episode in his cubby, desperately pleading with Sookie to kiss him. Instead, they're interrupted by Bill, who wants to search the house for Eric. Sookie proves herself to be a very capable liar and gets him to trust that she doesn't know where Eric is.

I'm not sure where this amnesia storyline is going, but if it means Eric won't be wearing a shirt for the rest of the season, I may be in favor of it.

Here's a rundown of the other big events from this week's episode.

Jason Flees

The constant raping of Jason in Hot Shot continues, but he talks a young girl into letting him go. Once he escapes, he carves a spear and uses it to kill Felton the werepanther, finally putting an end to the long national nightmare that is this storyline. Crystal wants to stay with Jason, but he's as done with the werepantrhers as I am, so he leaves, collapses on the side of the road and thankfully gets rescued by Hoyt and Jessica.

Jessica feeds him her blood, and I think there might be a potential for a Jason-Jessica-Hoyt love triangle, which would be hilarious and awesome. After all, we know that drinking a vampire's blood gives you erotic sex dreams about them (see: Sam and Bill last season).

Marnie Rules

Nan and Bill talk about how the only witch that's ever been a real threat to vampires was some Spanish lady 400 years ago. Cut to Marnie having a lucid dream about a 17th century Spanish witch being burned at the stake. It's Antonia, the same which who has been possessing Marnie in the present, and while Antonia is scary as hell, Marnie isn't. Fiona Shaw is doing a fantastic job playing this character as a bumbling, silly old lady and she is single-handedly making this my favorite storyline on True Blood.

Lafayette, Jesus and Tara talk her into helping them fix Eric, but when it comes time to do it, Antonia possesses Marnie again and makes Pam's skin fall off. You can mess with Eric's memory all you want (especially since it means he spends most of this season shirtless), but DO NOT MESS WITH PAM! Pam (and her sexy dominatrix outfits) are perfect, so I hope she comes back swinging.

Who's Your Great-Great-Great-Grand Granddaddy?

Bill courts Portia by spending an evening with her grandma Caroline and talk turns to the Bellefleur family tree. An old book reveals that Bill's daughter married into the family and that Portia is technically his great-great-great-great granddaughter. Now that's a quick way to end a budding romance.

Shifter Drama

Sam visits Luna and meets her adorable daughter, Emma. More importantly, he learns that Emma's dad is a werewolf, which should spell trouble down the road. Elsewhere, Tommy goes to visit his real mom and has a nice day with her, until his evil dad Joe Lee sneaks up and puts a chain around Tommy's neck, turning him back into a dog-fighting slave.

Baby Not Yours

Finally, True Blood also gives us a token "Arlene is scared of her baby" scene and it's a really big one. Terry goes to get the laundry while his wife is sleeping, and when he returns, it looks like the baby somehow wrote "Baby Not Yours" on the wall. Wait, what? The baby can write? This is some seriously messed up stuff, and I think they deserve a lot more than one scene if True Blood is going to do an Evil Baby storyline.

(Image courtesy of HBO)