The Vampire Diaries: Who's the Dumbest of Them All?
The Vampire Diaries: Who's the Dumbest of Them All?
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
We're only three episodes into The Vampire Diaries, and already I have characters who I love and characters who I hate.  I love Damon and Caroline...and that's pretty much it.

My problem with the rest of the cast of The Vampire Diaries isn't that they're awful characters, just that they are incredibly stupid.  They all exhibit clear signs of idiocy, and if they could just cure themselves of this one ailment, they'd be a lot better.

I hate it went TV characters blatantly ignore things they see with their own eyes.  Elena saw Stefan cut his hand and heal himself, she knows this is what she saw, and she also sees Damon sneak up behind her out of nowhere every chance he gets.  Combine that with the quick reflexes of the two brothers, and any teenage girl who knows the name Edward Cullen would jump to the vampire conclusion right away.  This girl needs to face reality and stop burying her head in the sand.

His love with Elena is allegedly "epic."  Does he not realize that, sooner or later, she's going to find out that he's a vampire?  It's one of those things that's bound to come up eventually, and if I've learned anything from watching relationships on TV, it's that being up front and honest is the best policy.  If Stefan really wants things to work out, he needs to stop trying to hide the truth.

There is no character I despise more than Matt, and it's because he's a total wuss.  Jocks don't always need to be jerks, but they need at least an ounce of self respect or manliness.  Instead, Matt was sucking up to Stefan like he wanted them to take a pottery class together.  This strange new kid comes into town, steals your girlfriend and steals your football glory and your solution is to be incredibly nice?  I don't think it was an herb Stefan put in Elena' new necklace, I think it was Matt's testicles.

On the opposite side of the spectrum from Matt, Tyler is a bully for no reason.  He tries to embarrass Stefan even though he has no real investment in that drama and he's constantly prodding Jeremy over Vicki.  The sad part is that he doesn't actually seem to care about Vicki, he's just being a douche for douche's sake.  Not cool.

This girl needs to get off the sidelines and start playing in the love game.  Obviously Jeremy is a better pick because he's cuter, smarter and has more drugs than Tyler.  But Vicki still tries to play coy, wanting to string Jeremy along as a friend, probably to make Tyler jealous because seeing two men fight over her turns her on.  Vicki needs to grow up and act responsibly in relationships.

Speaking of growing up, Jeremy also needs to stop feeling sorry for himself.  Maybe I'm just really old, but back when I was in high school, the drug dealing loner wasn't the social pariah, he was the kid everyone wanted at their party, because he'd bring the drugs.  He's also too cute to be geeky and, on the whole, he seems way too smart and self aware to be so miserable.

I actually like Bonnie for the most part and she almost made my list of characters I love, but then came the Numbers.  She was dreaming of 8, 14 and 22, and then saw that Coach Tanner died in Lot 8 next to a car with the number 14 on its license plate in parking spot 22.  The 8 and 22 I buy, but 14 being on a license plate isn't fate, it's a dumb coincidence.  Having watched every episode of Lost, I expect Numbers to be a little more important than just license plates that happen to be near objects of importance.

Here's something that makes just as much sense: if you add up all the digits in 8, 14, 22, you get 17 (8+1+4+2+2), and that is Stefan's jersey number on the football team!  See, I can make those numbers turn into whatever I want.

Yes, Bonnie is psychic, but after the serving spoon and birthday candle tricks, the appearance of these Numbers was incredibly lame.

So what's your verdict?  Who is the dumbest character on The Vampire Diaries, and who are you loving?

-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of the CW)