On this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County
, Tamra and Alexis finally bury the hatchet -- and not in each other's backs. Lauri returns once more and shares some mind-blowing gossip about Vicki with Gretchen. And the ladies head to Mexico for Tamra's bachelorette party, but things don't go as planned.
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Premature Party Planning
Even though the last I heard Tamra and Eddie had not set a date for their wedding, Gretchen is getting a jump start on the festivities by planning the bachelorette party. Heather is Gretchen's partner in crime, and the two are planning to surprise Tamra with a trip to Mexico. They've also decided to give her a custom-designed bikini as a gift. It's a bit ridiculous that a 40-plus-year-old woman getting married for the third time is going through all the same rituals as a first-time bride. I think Heather recognizes this fact because while Gretchen is all about debauchery and male strippers, Heather is aiming for a classier, more age appropriate type of getaway.
The two don't only disagree on the tone and theme of the party, but they can't come to a consensus on the bathing suit. Heather admits to being more conservative, while Gretchen's attitude is more if you've got it, flaunt it. It's hysterical that Gretchen thinks she's more qualified to pick out a swimsuit than Heather because she's a "designer." Gretchen may slap her name on some handbags, but the woman did not attend art or design school. She doesn't sketch, she doesn't sew, she is really a glorified spokesperson. Nobody would be buying what she's selling if she wasn't one of the stars of a large reality franchise. Turn the Other Cheek, Again
After some prodding from the hyper-vigilant Lydia, the new, softer Tamra calls Alexis and asks her to lunch. Alexis can't wait to relay this unexpected development to Vicki while the two are having drinks. Vicki gives Tamra props for extending the olive branch, and while Alexis is nervous for the sit-down, she is eager to put an end to the animosity between them. Vicki says that Tamra and Alexis don't have to try and be BFFs, but they can certainly find it within themselves to be cordial to one another.Ladies Who Lunch
Alexis, Lydia (moral support for Alexis) and Tamra all go to lunch together. I'm uncertain why Alexis would even make the effort other than she's trying to find a way to get more face time on camera. Lydia knows that a positive outcome from this meeting is a must since she's the one who arranged it. No wonder she opts for a shot as opposed to wine. Tamra admits that the night she threw Alexis out of her dinner party that she acted rashly.
Then she says such a Tamra thing: "When I walked out, I heard you in the car. Like I didn't realize at the moment the impact it would have on me right now, and as a human being, I can feel the pain in your voice." Are you kidding me? So is Tamra now empathetic, sympathetic, sorry -- where is she coming from? This feels like the sequel to her ridiculous speech. It's not really about how her behavior affects others, it's how she feels about it.
In the end, Alexis says they don't have to love or even like everything about her. All she wants is peace (and more camera time). Then Tamra says that they should probably keep the conversation they just had between them for the time being. Alexis agrees that she has no plans to run and blab to Heather or Gretchen. Tamra doesn't want this shaky truce to not be negatively affected by outside influences, or so she says. Who knows what the motivation is there. Is she really that weak-minded or quick to succumb to peer pressure? The B**** is Back
Lauri is back again. This time, she meets up with Gretchen at a stable of all places. Lauri's sudden re-emergence into the spotlight seems odd, but she does seem to have an agenda. She is determined to badmouth Vicki at every turn. Lauri reveals that Vicki was a serial adulteress throughout her marriage. Gretchen does ask if Lauri has any proof to back up these allegations, and Lauri responds that she has seen it with her own eyes. Now, Gretchen's past is far from squeaky clean, so when she says hearing all this makes her angry, she might want to remember that she is in no position to be acting so shocked and shaken. Gretchen admits this information will be impossible for her to keep a secret, especially given her volatile relationship with Vicki. Somehow, I think that is what Lauri is counting on.Naked Wasted
The ladies head to Mexico, and the competition for Tamra's affection, attention and gratitude begins immediately. After Lauri's accusations, every word that comes out of Vicki's mouth takes on new meaning.
The partying starts out in true Heather style: champagne and dinner at a snooty/posh restaurant. I love her to death, but she is most definitely a bit prissy. No strippers or penises will be coming near Mrs. Dubrow. Vicki is bound and determined to let it all hang out and party full steam ahead. Even Tamra admits she has her limitations and can't drink like a sailor on leave two nights in a row.
Heather's taste proves too high-brow for the other girls, and the excitement level starts to wane. Vicki appears to have decided in favor of a liquid dinner, while Lydia just wants some good old-fashioned tortilla chips and salsa. Vicki tests Gretchen's patience, although I think Gretchen is eager for any excuse to confront her about Lauri's accusations. When Gretchen and Heather head to the restroom, Vicki practically kidnaps Tamra and Lydia, leaving the other two women behind. Tamra and Lydia don't put up much of a fight. They mention sending a text to Gretchen and/or Heather but never find the motivation to actually do so.
Vicki comes off looking even worse than usual after tonight's episode. I expect some serious fallout after the way Lydia, Tamra and Vicki ditched Heather and Gretchen. Neither woman, especially Heather, suffers fools lightly. The big question is how long before Gretchen pops her top.The Real Housewives of Orange County
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(Image courtesy of Bravo)