Under the Covers with 'The Real Housewives of New York City'
Under the Covers with 'The Real Housewives of New York City'
The Real Housewives of New York are back from Morocco, but they took all their drama with them. Since that psychic said something about Mario and another woman, Ramona plans some romantic time for just the two of them. But only one of them shows up on time. Alex and Simon get some "just the two of us" time, Bill Withers style. Simon bought Alex an long, lace ... robe? and put a basket full of panties on his crotch. Alex tries on the different weird lingerie Simon picked out, and they ended on the best one, in my opinion.

Then Mario finally shows up, and it's not exactly movie-sexy. To completely ruin the mood, Ramona tells Mario about what the psychic said and asks him what he thinks. Ramona and Mario agree that there is no one else. Ramona keeps badgering Mario about whether or not he's having a good time, and his shirt is off by this point. Ramona doesn't do sexy well.

Cindy is excited about her new products, titled "Boobs and Bum." She is distraught to find that she is not in any of the camel pictures, which Sonja took. Sonja openly admits to cutting Cindy out of the pictures, too. Sonja loves the drama this season.

Sonja likes to keep the price tags on her clothes to remember the sale she got. She filed for bankruptcy for 19 million dollars. She can still afford to go to the dermatologist and tells her friend that she still pays all her bills. This is a weird thing going on, but at least maybe it explained why she has been so odd this season.

LuAnn and Jacques are reunited and it feels so good. They have too much class to have a lingerie-clad display, so they're going out for wine and dinner.

Jill has invited the girls (MINUS RAMONA) to preview her line of shape wear. Next to books and singles, a line of shape wear is completely appropriate for a Housewife to launch. Sonja's debt comes up as the women gather. It's awkward, because Jill is trying to handle things. LuAnn comes in and Alex immediately approaches her for a sit-down and make up. These Housewife friendships are not normal.

Back to Skweez, or whatever the shape wear is called. Before introducing the line, Jill makes it clear why Ramona was not invited. She can't be trusted, and the Kodak thing, and you know how Ramona is. The women all give their feedback at once, and Alex suggests making the word "Skweez" a little bigger. Weirdly, I totally want to get me some Skweez spanx! I like it better than Bethenny's.

Immediately after the "focus group," Alex meets up with Ramona to rat Jill out. Ramona proves why she shouldn't have been invited. Ramona wishes Jill had called her to tell her she wasn't invited and why? Oh, please. She deduces that Jill is scared because Ramona knows her for who she is. And there's jealousy, of course! They agree that it was inappropriate for Jill to jump down Sonja's throat like that.

We haven't seen much of Kelly this episode, apparently because she's having her daughter design the family Christmas card. Her idea was cute, though!

Ramona meets up with Sonja immediately to jump down her throat about the financial issues. Sonja admits that having her home at risk is very scary, so she filed for bankruptcy to give herself some time to settle things. By the way, this is all about Sonja Morgan Productions and the movie they never made. Ramona and Sonja agree that they are both too trusting, sometimes to a fault!

The time has come for LuAnn and Alex to meet and make things right again. They haven't really spoken since LuAnn told Alex to go back into the cupboard she crawled out of. LuAnn doesn't really know what they're meeting to discuss, since they aren't really close, but Alex has "a legitimate gripe." She wants to fight everyone else's battles.

I don't know what Alex's deal is this season, but all of a sudden she's calling The Countess "vile." It's sort of funny how Alex has so much to say but no one will ever let her speak.

The women get to a point where they're being so awful to each other, that they just start laughing evilly. It's odd. LuAnn leaves in a huff, and Alex finishes her coffee alone, in her crazy jacket.

(image courtesy of Bravo)