During last week's season 6 premiere of The Real Housewives of New York City
, Sonja introduced us to her 20-something-year-old boyfriend, Aviva stuck her head so far up Ramona's butt that she was starting to develop her own Pinot Grigio addiction and we met the Countess' replacement, Kristen. And we're off to a galloping start!
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Carole finally agrees to meet with Aviva after she says Aviva has been hounding her all week to sit down and talk about her book. Things immediately start out awkward because Aviva has "single white femaled" Carole by buying the same reading glasses that Carole wears. Carole is thoroughly weirded out. She says, "Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery, flattery is the sincerest form of flattery."
So after Aviva's done being a creep, she goes on to insulting Carole after Carole asks her some generally benign questions about her book, like if she used a ghostwriter (which is a completely reasonable question, considering that Aviva's admittedly only written e-mails in her life). Aviva asks Carole if her book was ghostwritten, which is extremely rude given that Carole is a professional writer. Carole says she feels like she's being undermined and that her integrity was called into question. She tells Aviva that not only is writing her job, but it's something she's extremely passionate about.
After their lunch, Aviva goes to meet with Ramona at a wine shop where Ramona is helping her pick out some wine for her housewarming party. She tells Ramona that she thought Carole was being condescending and snotty about the book situation. She also tells her that someone at her publishing company told her that Carole used a ghostwriter for her first book, What Remains. Ramona doesn't seem to buy it and even thinks that Aviva is being a bit gossipy and negative.
Carole tells Kristen and Heather about Book Gate on a walk in Central Park. She tells them how upset she is that Aviva is spreading rumors that might really damage her reputation. Kristen tries to remain neutral because she doesn't really know the other ladies that well yet, but Heather is firmly Team Carole. She says that she wrote the book, and that's that. I mean, she even went on Oprah to promote it!
Heather, her husband, Jonathan, and her kids, Jax and Ella, go over to Kristen's for a visit. Kristen tells Heather about how her 17-month-old Kingsley needs leg braces because she's not walking yet. They have a bonding moment when Heather opens up about her son's illness and how an organ donor saved his life when he needed a new liver. Kristen is touched by Heather's story and it makes her appreciate what she has.
Aviva's moving to the Upper West Side and of course she's micro-managing the poor movers to death. Her ex-husband, Harry, stops by to drop off their son, Harrison, and tells Aviva that he has a date with Sonja that evening. He denies that the two are "friends with benefits," but says that they may be re-kindling something. Aviva doesn't seem to mind that her ex has dated so many of her friends (Harry has also dated LuAnn). But it still seems like Aviva is trying a little too hard to make it seem like she's the cool ex-wife.
Sonja invites Kristen over for a private spray tan session. The two of them discuss Book Gate, and Kristen seems Team Carole at this point and Sonja Team Aviva. Although, to be fair, I'm not really sure Sonja is all that sure what the fight is actually about. She's too busy checking out Kristen's hot bod in the tanning tent.
Aviva and Heather meet the next day for mani-pedis and Heather asks Aviva all about her book. She asks her if it's about her leg, since she doesn't have any "celebrity"; her early tragedy would be the hook that made things interesting to write in a book. She also asks her if she used a ghostwriter, because all of the memoirs of rock stars that she reads use ghostwriters. At this point, Heather has been way more offensive than Carole was when she met Aviva earlier.
Aviva insists that she didn't use a ghostwriter, just an editor to help her organize her thoughts. And like it takes a village to raise a kid, it takes a village to write a book. Like Carole said earlier, the more Aviva talks about writing, the less it seems like she actually knows.
Sonja has her date night with the age appropriate (albeit Aviva's ex) Harry. The two actually seem quite fond of each other and it seems less gross/weird after seeing them together. They seem to have a good connection, and Sonja is basically charming the pants off of him. Which is probably why they go back to her place for "just one drink."
Last season, Aviva was afraid of getting on elevators and this season she's bought a house with an elevator in it. Typical Aviva.
When her party guests arrive, they pile into the bedroom and start one of the strangest conversations about Aviva, Reid, Harry and Sonja's strangely intermingled sex life. Gross.
Carole feels uncomfortable going to Aviva's, but when she arrives she says she is going to assume that Aviva had no idea of how insulting she was really being. But she got a bad vibe walking into the house nonetheless. And things worsen when both Heather and Ramona tell her that Aviva told them that she used a ghostwriter to write her memoir.
Carole says she feels like she's been struck by a bullet. She can't believe that Aviva is telling such vicious lies and that she is literally deranged. So what does she do to the deranged person? She tries to talk logic to her. Not so easy to do with someone so delusional.
Carole pulls Aviva aside and tries to explain to Aviva that writing is how she pays her bills. She writes for magazines and television; it's her profession. Carole also tries to tell her that there was no competition between them after Aviva said she was writing a book, and comparing her experience writing her book with Carole's career just isn't fair.
That's when Aviva says that her publishing company said that Carole used a ghostwriter and that they originally turned down her novel, saying that it needed a complete overhaul. Carole calls her a liar and a phony, saying that nothing of what she's saying is true. Aviva tells her she's condescending and not even a real writer like John Grisham or Stephen King. Carole responds by saying that she knows nothing about her career, that she's never even had a job outside the home.
Well, that escalated quickly.
The Real Housewives of New York City
airs Tuesdays at 9pm on Bravo.(Image courtesy of Bravo)