Last night's Real Housewives of New Jersey
finale put a fittingly dramatic stamp on season 3, and proved that -- if not a complete illusion -- happiness is but a fragile, fleeting pit stop in the Jersey wives' perpetual cycle of lies, pettiness and overreaction. It's the circle of life, and it moves us all.
In other words: Who needs an accurate family portrait depicting togetherness and love when there are cookbooks to sell, RIGHT, TERESA?Read our recap of the ridiculous cookbook drama in our RHONJ finale recap, "The Cheap Shot Heard 'Round the World," and then check out this sneak peek (plus some web extras) from next week's reunion special:
Teresa and Melissa are at each other's throats! Caroline wonders why everyone thinks she's a man! Jacqueline is missing
and Jay Mohr is a bitchy blogging kitten! It's gonna be, dare I say, Fabulicious
?"Jersey's Most Dramatic Reunion!"
Don't they say that every
reunion is the most dramatic reunion? Well, since this reunion includes the once (briefly) lovey-dovey sisters-in-law Teresa and Melissa literally calling each other the devil, they might be right this time.
Web Extra: "Real Drag Queens of New Jersey?"
Caroline is offended that every time there is a RHONJ
parody, she's played by a man. Shouldn't she just be grateful that she's still relevant enough to inspire parody at all? Web Extra: "Eviscerated by Jay Mohr."
I wish this segment was about the Real Housewives reacting to direct quotes from our own Carla Patton's hilarious recaps
from this season, but I guess Jay Mohr's slightly less funny (and awesomely mean) quotes will have to do. Web Extra: "Twitter War with Jay Mohr?"
Jay is such a huge point of discussion that I keep expecting (hoping) he's going to jump up from behind the couch, slap Melissa, yell "GOTCHA, BITCH!" and run off. But no. Instead, here's Melissa to explain how "jokes" and "Twitter" work.Web Extra: "Celebrity Fans of the Housewives."
Teresa talks about how much she and Christina Aguilera love each other and really want to meet each other. Someone at Bravo better get that meeting on tape!
The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion airs Sunday at 10pm on Bravo.
Whose side of the cookbook drama are you on: Teresa "It's a joke, haha!" Guidice or ... everyone else?
(Image courtesy of Bravo)